HAVING necked a litre bottle of gin, 18-year-old Sally Hopkins should have been hammered – but it had barely even touched the sides.
Not that it mattered. Like most boozy nights, Sally knew one way or another she was going to end up drunk.
At the height of her alcohol addiction and binge drinking, Sally regularly blacked out and was left feeling like her life was over at just 19.
It was only when she sought help from her ex-alcoholic dad John, 59, that she was able to turn her life around.
She says: “At my worst I was constantly hungover or drunk, and having daily panic attacks.
“I’d always blackout, and was constantly scared about what I’d said or done. Embarrassing myself just became the norm.
“It was dad who helped save me from such a dark, desperate place.”
Thankfully Sally, now 25, has been sober for nearly six years, using her personal experience in her job as a recovery mentor to help other women struggling with addiction.
Across the UK binge drinking is a big issue, and a recent report revealed British women top the list for the world’s biggest female binge drinkers, with 26 per cent having at least six drinks in a single session at least once a month.
Sally’s story began when she started drinking alcohol with friends at 14.
She says: “It was problematic right from the beginning, when I’d drink with friends at house parties.
“I drank was whatever I could get hold of, and I drank a lot quicker – and a lot more – than a lot of my friends.
“I’d completely lose track of what I was drinking, but my tolerance level became so high, one night I drank a whole litre bottle of gin and it didn’t even touch the sides.
“I didn’t even feel drunk – so I’d drink even more on those binges.
“I barely had any control over the amount I’d have, and I would blackout.”
She kept it hidden from her family, including her dad, who had battled addiction himself before Sally was born after a difficult childhood which saw him lose his mum aged just 12.
The former manual labourer drank heavily and went in and out of prison for theft until he got sober aged 27, becoming a trained counsellor and working in probation and social work before running a recovery programme helping others struggling with addiction.
Sally says: “From an early age I knew my dad didn’t drink, and mum would have the odd drink but we wouldn’t really ever have alcohol in the house.
“Dad would go to AA meetings too, but I just thought he was really important at work as he had to go to meetings in the evening.
“When I was around 14 I learned more and more about Dad’s past and what he’d been through with drink.
“He was open and told us about AA but not in great detail as he didn’t want us to feel he was any different, or make it a big deal.
“I didn’t associate my drinking with my dad’s or connect the dots, as in my mind he had a hard childhood, whereas I felt like I was just drinking for ‘fun’.”
For Sally, blackouts – while scary – became the norm.
She says: “I would drink from Friday lunchtime until Sunday and would be two nights out and a day session.
“I would regularly completely forget everything that had happened the night before, which was really scary.
“Waking up and having so much of your night filled in by friends, and them telling you that you said and did things that were so out of character was awful.
“It was constant humiliation. I’d constantly be doing embarrassing things, like getting so drunk at the work Christmas party I made a spectacle of myself.
“I’d also do really inconsiderate and selfish things, like constantly waking up my parents when I got home in the early hours – and then I’d drink more to forget the bad feelings.”
Sally was left feeling permanently hungover and sometimes even unable to complete daily tasks.
She explains: “Drinking became a solution to life – it felt overwhelming.
“Because I was constantly drinking and then recovering, normal day to day things like eating a balanced diet or doing chores felt unmanageable.
“I constantly felt like I was on the back foot, which all contributed to me feeling like I wanted to give up.
“I didn’t feel confident, so I drank to feel OK, safe and comfortable – but in reality it just made me feel worse. It was a vicious cycle.”
Binge drinking also impacted Sally’s dreams to go to university.
She says: “While I did well in my GCSEs and was predicted A’s in my A levels, I wasn’t able to revise or do the work necessary.
“I got two pass grades, but it wasn’t enough to get into university so it definitely limited me academically.”
I was so fearful I was going to be fired, I just quit. I felt like I was unreliable, and not good enough.”
Sally Hopkins
Sally then left school, and got a job as a tech support engineer – but her partying started to affect her performance at work.
She says: “I was having a panic attack most days at work, so it was hard to do my job well.
“I was so fearful I was going to be fired, I just quit.
“I felt like I was unreliable, and not good enough.
“Some of it wasn’t real, but I felt unworthy, and useless, and not clever enough – feelings which would also lead me to drink more.”
The NHS defines binge drinking as ‘drinking heavily over a short space of time’.
More than 8 units of alcohol in a single session for males, or more than 6 units in a single session for females is the technical definition, according to Drinkaware.
That’s equivalent to about four pints of normal strength beer for a man or three pints for a woman.
When you binge drink, other than getting drunk, your heart rate and blood pressure will rise. It can cause irregular heartbeats, known as arrhythmias.
Alcohol increases stomach acid production – queue the nausea and potentially vomiting.
You’re also likely to experience impaired judgement, coordination, memory blackouts and poor decision making.
This could lead to accidents, falls, drownings and other mistakes.
Long term, binge drinking can cause acute liver damage and increase the risk of chronic liver diseases such as cirrhosis and liver cancer.
Cardiovascular problems include cardiomyopathy – which is when the heart loses the ability to pump blood efficiently – and an increased risk of stroke.
Over time, binge drinking can contribute to permanent brain damage. This may present as a mental health condition, such as anxiety or depression.
Binge drinking can also lead to alcohol dependence, or “addiction”.
At the age of 19, Sally hit rock bottom, and shortly after quitting her job and starting a new one in customer support, she moved back home.
She says: “I’d been living with my sister in a flat in Manchester but when I left my job I moved back home with my parents after my mum suggested it.
“She looked at me like I was broken – which I was.
“There was definitely a constant worry about me, especially from my mum, who would constantly text me wanting to check I was safe and know I was OK.
“To be honest at my lowest point, I felt like my life was over. It was really dark.
“I didn’t know who I was and it felt hopeless. I felt defeated.”
For Sally, there wasn’t one huge, life-changing experience that made her turn her life around.
She says: “I just woke up one morning hungover, after a chaotic night where I’d got into an argument with a bouncer and ended up on my own with no money to get a taxi home.
“That was just a typical night, but I realised all the chaos and problems in my life were rooted in binge drinking.
“Up until that point I’d never consciously considered it was a problem – it just hit me all at once. I just knew I had to stop.”
It was speaking to her dad that made her realise she needed help.
Sally says: “When I was ready to recognise it was a problem, he was the first person I went to.
“We went for a dog walk together, and I vividly remember saying ‘I think I need to go to a meeting’ meaning AA, because it was easier to say out loud than admit I had a problem, and dad just agreed.
“I felt a huge sense of relief, and broke down and cried. Dad was on my side, and I knew finally this was a new start.
“I later realised how worried and upset he’d been about my drinking, but he needed to wait until I was ready before he could help.”
Because Sally was a binge drinker and not drinking daily, she initially found it easy to stop – the hard moments came later on.
She says: “The first few weeks weren’t actually the hard bit.
“It was the milestones – like the first payday and I had money. I stopped drinking in November so Christmas parties were hard too, but had support and attended AA meetings, and dad was there every step.
“After a month in recovery I realised I’d been in a constant cycle of rest, recover, drink.
“Finally, my body had fully recovered and it was the first time in a long time I felt healthy and energised.
“That realisation made me stay motivated to carry on.”
Now, Sally is coming up to six years sober.
She is also now a recovery mentor for Delamere, the UK’s only purpose-built addiction treatment clinic, where she’s helped hundreds of women overcome addiction.
She adds: “Drinking used to be my ‘hobby’ but now I’ve been able to build way more meaningful relationships with friends.”
If worried about your own drinking, Sally recommends: “Asking yourself ‘do I feel like I have choice and control over how much I drink and when?’ is a good starting point.
“Try to cut down just to see if you can, as that can help indicate if you do have a good relationship with alcohol.
“If you physically can’t cut down, it’s about reaching out for help.
“I really want to express that a life of sobriety isn’t a prison sentence.
“It’s joyous, fun and exciting and you can achieve everything you want to achieve still in recovery.”
