DEAR DEIDRE: IT’S more than 20 years since I split up with my husband but I have been sexting him.
He was my first love and he’s under my skin again — I feel like I’ve lost my mind to him.
We are desperate for each other but it’s far from straightforward.
We have both remarried and have children with our current spouses.
And I admit that I am scared of being hurt by him.
I am 56 and my ex is 58. We met at school and probably married too young, in our early twenties.
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We went on to have two beautiful daughters who are now grown up.
We were happy for the first few years but, over time, I started to feel he was taking me for granted.
Feeling neglected, I cheated on him with a colleague. I regretted it instantly.
It only happened once, but he found out and was devastated.
He couldn’t even look at me and ended up filing for divorce a month later.
When he met someone new and went on to have a child with her, I was devastated and knew I had no choice but to move on.
In time, I married and had another child. But at the beginning of this year, we bumped into each other in a supermarket and I realised how much I missed my ex.
I was delighted when he said he’d love to see me again.
We’ve been in constant contact, including sexting, and have met twice.
It took all our self-control to resist each other in those meetings.
We are both in loveless marriages and feel life is too short to be apart any longer.
We want to try again, but are prepared to take it slowly.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: First love has deep roots, but that doesn’t mean it would be right the second time around.
While having the occasional thought about an ex is normal, you’d be unwise to go there.
You weren’t a good match because, if you had been, you would still be together.
Remind yourself of that every time you think about starting afresh.
For the sake of your relationship, let go of your ex and leave him in the past where he belongs.
Tell your husband you need to work together to make your relationship more satisfying. Counselling can help, so find support via tavistockrelationships.org (020 7380 1960).
My support pack, Torn Between Two Men, will help.
