PLUS-sized and proud, two women who are in ‘mixed-weight relationships’ have revealed what it’s like being married to men who are slim.
And batting off claims that their husbands only like them because of a fetish is just the start.
Samantha Rose and Hayley, host The Plus Size Section podcast and are married to slim men.
They discussed their experience dating and marrying slim men on their podcast recently, and both agree people are quick to judge and make assumptions about their choices.
The concept of a mixed weight relationship is nothing new, but after the latest series of Bridgerton saw curvy Nicola Coughlan, who plays Penelope Featherington get semi naked on screen with her slimmer love interest buff Colin Bridgerton, played by Luke Newton, people judged.
Nicola was labelled ‘brave’ for having the courage.
It’s the kind of judgement that Hayley and Samantha have experienced first hand.
The pair said they “can’t win” when it comes to the difference in size with their partners, at least where other people are concerned.
“We should think about how everyone is different, but if we focus on how everyone is different then that’s also bad,” Samantha said as she explained how drawing attention to her mixed weight relationship can be a bad thing.
Even though it’s not something they usually think about in their day-to-day life, it can sometimes cause issues if other people feel the need to voice their own negative opinions.
There admitted they do face issues which couples of a similar size don’t.
“Even just having to pick out chairs, as the simplest problem in the world, you’ve got to get one that fits the bigger person and straight sized couple doesn’t have to worry about that,” Hayley said.
Both Samantha and Hayley agreed that fetishization can be a big problem for anyone who is plus-size and dating a slimmer partner.
“If they want to see it as a lewd thing or a bad thing that’s kind of on them,” Hayley said.
“Obviously our husbands love our bodies but it’s not a fetish, they just love our bodies,” Samantha added.
And although some do like plus-sized men or women as part of a fetish, they agreed it’s wrong to assume that must always be the reason why someone would be interested in someone larger, or slimmer than them.
“Not every single mixed size couple you see is a fetish relationship,” Samantha said.
“I know we follow people on the podcast TikTok that get a lot of hate for that because everyone is so convinced that girl is in a fetish relationship because the guy is very thin and she is built like we are, very large belly.
“And she has said time and time again that’s not the case and people don’t believe her, but that’s not her problem.”
Other women have also faced a backlash because of their choice in romantic partners.
Madeline Wilson-Ojo wrote about the impact her mixed weight relationship even had on friendships for Melan mag.
“Dating my husband cost me some friendships with ladies who were always happy to be my friend, provided I did not have the audacity to be unequally yoked with a partner who was ‘not of my kind’,” she explained.
YouGov looked into how Brits find love, and your best bet is at work or through friends according to the data.
“I remember witnessing the glazed stare of a girlfriend the first time I introduced my then boyfriend to her.
“The episode was followed by an onslaught of snide comments about my partner somehow fulfilling a strange fetish until I decided I was not going to take it anymore, and finally ended the friendship.”
Speaking about Madeline’s experience, Hayley and Samantha came to the same conclusion.
“That’s not her problem, that’s theirs,” they agreed.
“You cannot control what everyone thinks, people’s opinions of you are none of your business,” they added.
