I search for signs my friend is gay like me by going through her phone

DEAR DEIDRE: I keep looking at my best friend’s private phone messages when she puts her handset down somewhere.

I know it’s wrong but I keep hoping to spot a sign that she’s gay, like I am.

I’m 22 and I work with my friend who is 26. I’ve started to have feelings for her. I’ve told her and she’s said that it’s OK but that she doesn’t like me in that way.

She really likes a guy at work and she messages him all the time. If she goes to the loo or goes in to see the boss, I take a sneaky peek at her phone. I know her code to get into it.

I know she’s going to catch me out before too long and it may ruin our friendship for good but I’d love it if she hinted to somebody that she’s interested in me.

DEIDRE SAYS: You can’t make somebody else feel something they don’t feel.

You have to accept that she is straight and therefore would not want a relationship with you other than the friendship you have.

Don’t jeopardise that by prying into her private life on her phone.

That’s not fair and could affect your job if she finds out and makes a complaint to your employer.

Let her lead her life as she wants and make a pact that you’ll allow her some privacy. Treat her as you’d wish to be treated.

My support pack called Gay Resources may help you in your quest to find a relationship.