DEAR DEIDRE: MY WIFE is manipulating our children and turning them against me.
It seems that now they are grown up she may want to separate.
I’m 62 and my wife is 56. We’ve been married for 29 years and have two grown-up children.
My wife has never had much of a sex drive and whenever I took the initiative she seemed almost indifferent.
She has suffered with fibroids in her uterus in the past and while I’ve always been supportive I have had to sacrifice a sex life with her.
We only really got physically intimate when she wanted to conceive.
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I’ve talked to her many times and asked her to see her doctor but she refused.
It has caused us to argue so many times.
Even our family and children know we argue about it and she jokes openly about me being “sex obsessed”.
It is so frustrating and humiliating. Our children seem to be the only success in our marriage, but they always take their mum’s side.
Now I feel she is trying to turn our children against me, knowing they will side with her.
Previously, I have never thought about separating but she has started to mention it.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: I’m sorry. Deliberately and publicly humiliating you in front of your family and your children is a form of emotional abuse.
She is demeaning you by publicly calling you sex-obsessed.
Your sex life is clearly a huge source of frustration for both of you.
Her fibroids (solid non-cancerous tumours) are likely to cause her pain. Sex will put pressure on her, while you in turn feel rejected.
Tell your wife how miserable you are and that you are considering leaving the relationship. She needs to know what is at risk.
Consider sex and relationship therapy to find better understanding.
My support pack How Counselling Can Help explains more.
