DEAR DEIDRE: AM I an embarrassment to my girlfriend because I’m not as clever as her or her family?
She comes from an academic background. Her father is a lecturer at a university and her mother is a lawyer.
Last year, my girlfriend qualified as a doctor and is now working for the National Health Service.
Meanwhile, I’m trying to build a surfing clothing brand that has yet to get off the ground.
I fund my dream by working full-time in a pub and living with my parents. I’m 27 and my girlfriend is 25.
She has always said my dream is unrealistic, and that it’s about time I got a degree “like anyone with ambition would”.
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Her dad has even told me he would never give me permission to marry his daughter until I can provide for her.
But I never wanted to go to university because I have dyslexia and struggled in school, barely scraping together a handful of GCSEs.
When my girlfriend graduated, her parents decided to throw her a party to celebrate.
They had hired out a nice bar and really splashed the cash. All of her university friends were invited, but I soon realised that I would not be welcome.
I asked her why, and she simply said there wasn’t enough capacity for me to attend because she was prioritising her family and university friends.
But the excuse was weak. I knew there was more than enough space for me when I saw how small the guest list was.
I assume she didn’t want me to socialise with her friends who were also graduating with her.
I feel cast aside. I shouldn’t be made to feel ashamed of my dreams. How can I resolve this?
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DEIDRE SAYS: The background to your education has nothing to do with your girlfriend or her parents.
They should be encouraging you as you start up your company, not shaming you about it.
Ask yourself if you want to be involved with such an unsupportive family.
Talk to your girlfriend and explain how this treatment is affecting you.
This is the time for her to offer you real reassurance.
My support pack Finding The Right Partner For You will help you decide if you want to be with this woman any longer.
