PRETTY delicate white flowers? Check.
Ability to twine beautifully up stakes and around trees? Check.
Compete so heavily with other plants they’re either strangled or utterly starved of nutrients and water? Also, sadly check.
Welcome to the reality of Bindweed – a plant that if left to its own devices would happily take over your outside space completely, utterly, and devastatingly.
In fact, if there was a Zombie apocalypse – I’m pretty convinced the undead would swing from victim to victim on Bindweed-fashioned vines.
No surprise then that it’s nicknamed Devil’s Guts.
Although another name ‘Granny-pop-out-of-bed’ is a bit more baffling.
It looks lovely – with big heart-shaped leaves, and white trumpet-like flowers that come out when the sun shines.
But as a professional gardener I can tell you it’s one of the last plants you want to come across in a client’s outside space – and not just because it takes so long to unwind it from everything.
There’s the terrifying prospect that if you mistakenly chop it into pieces, it will regenerate like an evil Dr Who from every single fragment.
And, my God, do those roots go on for ages – so add hours onto any anticipated Bindweed banishing – it will never be long enough.
As you might be able to tell, I’m not a fan.
Yes, the RHS may try and convince you that as part of *carefully controlled* wildflower garden, they’re great for pollinators and wildlife.
But in my opinion the only thing going for them is a sense of enormous satisfaction if you manage to get a whole plant out unscathed.
Trust me though, that’s rarely the case.
Which means that you’re breaking your back trying to get rid – but if you don’t do everything right – when you revisit that same space one month later it’s unlikely to look much different.
Their roots can go an astonishing 4m deep or more – and they can grow 10m long above ground as they wind their way around all the other plants in your garden.
Another way of gradually eradicating it – is by actually running a mower over it.
Veronica
There’s no magical way to get rid of it either – unless you want to use a strong weedkiller. But this is not ideal as not only are they bad for your garden and you – you run the risk of killing other surrounding plants.
Plus the roots are so long – to effectively douse it with weedkiller would mean almost dosing the entire garden. Not ideal.
But there are definitely ways to weaken it – and over time, pretty much eradicate it.
Hopefully. Maybe.
First start by unwinding it from the plants it’s attached to.
If you have lots of time on your hands, this is actually a pretty mindful task – really keeping you in the present.
Once you’ve unwound it – find out where it’s growing from.
And then start digging. Use a hand trowel or fork first – so you can get the hang of which way its roots are heading – probably in every direction.
And then gently and carefully try to trace the root through the soil, pulling it free.
This genuinely can take some time – and there’s no point in rushing it – as if you break the roots, it can regenerate.
Once you’ve got a better understanding of how it’s growing – you might be able to get the spade out – especially if the roots are going deep.
And then it’s just a case of removing every single last thread of the root and plant.
Another way of gradually eradicating it – is by actually running a mower over it. You don’t see it in lawns – because it’s been continually weakened by the blade – so you can try the same thing – if your space will accommodate it.
And also dig out all new seedings.
If you can’t get to the source of it – just pull out new growth – or cut it off – because again, weakening it will eventually eradicate it over time.
And if you’ve literally got years to waste on it – put down a load of cardboard, and cover it with a really thick, impenetrable layer of something like woodchips. Or, put down something like old carpet or weed control membrane.
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The idea is that the lack of sunlight will stop it growing – but you’re playing the long game here.
And finally, weird internet hacks just don’t cut it I’m afraid – it’s just too strong for vinegar – but you could try pouring a kettle of boiling water over where it comes out of the ground.
It’s not going to kill it – but it could definitely weaken it – and hopefully make it easier to get out further along the line.
In all of these scenarios, for goodness sake don’t compost the roots.
Burn them, or take them to the tip – as you do not want to bring it back – and give those pesky zombie’s something to swing on.
