AS a flight attendant, people always ask me about who my least favourite passengers are to deal with – and it’s a difficult question to answer.
Between the drunks, the people refusing to use headphones and the passengers arguing over seat allocations, there’s hundreds of other mindless idiots we have to put up with while at work.
However, arguably the worst are the couples getting overly-excited on their way to their summer holidays.
The summer months are always much worse for this, with young couples heading off to their romantic sunny getaways.
They get on the plane, have a few drinks and get a little amorous, and it really makes the people around them feel uncomfortable.
Complaints about people being a little “too affectionate” in the plane cabin aren’t uncommon, but around this time of year, they really start to soar.
It’s like these people forget where they are and start acting like teenagers, who can’t keep their hands off one another.
It’s really weird behaviour because you wouldn’t do that on any other form of transport, or anywhere else in public for that matter.
But these people seem to think that planes are the exception to that rule, when they’re very much not.
On one of my flights this summer, there was a man sitting in a window seat on his own, with a couple in the window and middle seats, who were effectively trapping him.
I’ve never seen anyone looking quite so awkward before, especially as he was trying to shuffle past them to get to the toilet.
He was slightly too embarrassed to come and talk to us about it, but if you find yourself in a similar position, don’t hesitate to come and speak to us.
We’re always happy to have a quiet word with anyone making you feel uncomfortable, and of course we can be discreet about who made the complaint to begin with.
I’ve done it plenty of times before and they’re never anything other than apologetic, if not completely and utterly embarrassed.
They’ll then spend the rest of the flight sitting bolt upright, reading or listening to music like the rest of the passengers on board.
I think a lot of the time, they just don’t realise how inappropriate they’re being, until someone points it out to them.
Amorous couples are one of many people who I hate having to deal with on flights.
Drunk passengers
People who make the most of the booze on board are really irritating. We have a lot to think about on our flights as it is, without looking after people who have drunk themselves into a stupor.
My advice for passengers is to enjoy the included booze, in moderation.
If there’s an emergency and you’re hammered, you’re going to be no use to anybody, least of all yourself. So it’s best to stay alert.
Vapers
Vaping on board is becoming more popular and it’s ridiculous that people think they can get away with it.
The big plume of fruity smoke is always a bit of a giveaway.
But it can also cause panic in the rest of the cabin as well – imagine seeing a big smokey cloud in a plane? It’s definitely not something you’re expecting, so will definitely leave people feeling a little frightened.
Listening to music without headphones
There’s few things worse than tinny phone music blaring out through the plane cabin, or an episode of Breaking Bad being broadcast from one passenger to the people around them.
The thing I always tell people to remember is that there are other people on board the plane and they aren’t all travelling for the same reason.
So keep your music and TV to yourself and just think long and hard about whether the other people on board want to listen to your awful dance music.
It’s not just in economy either – I think in first and business class, some passengers think that the privacy they have there means they can get away with more than they might elsewhere.
It’s just not the case and we’re more than happy to remind them of that.
So if you’re heading away on a romantic getaway this summer, or any other time for that matter, I know it can be exciting but please remember where you are when you’re on the plane.
It’s honestly, really not fun for the rest of us to see you all over each other while we’re trapped with you in the air.
Meanwhile, this strange new trend is baffling people on flights.
And this bad habit also makes you one of the worst passengers on the plane.
