DEAR DEIDRE: I’M head over heels in love and having the best sex of my life – but the problem is, it’s all with my partner’s best friend.
Now I’m terrified I’m pregnant and can’t be sure who the father is.
For the past year I’ve wanted to leave my partner but worry about breaking his heart.
I am 32 and my partner is 33. We have been together for five years, but our relationship isn’t working.
His drinking has killed us. He’s always looking for an excuse to open a can of lager.
Upset, after another huge row, I turned to my partner’s best friend at a party. That was two years ago.
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He was so kind and we ended up having a kiss at the end of the night.
My partner was none the wiser as he was almost comatose.
Sex with him is boring. It is all about him. He only goes near me when he has drink or drugs inside him. It makes me feel so unwanted.
After the party, my partner’s best friend checked in with me to ask how I was.
We began texting regularly and then agreed to meet, which we now do regularly at his house.
He is amazing and I feel so happy. I was seriously planning to leave my partner, when I started to feel queasy all the time.
I’m worried I might be pregnant as I’ve been having unprotected sex with two men.
I am scared now about what to do or say to anyone.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It is understandable you felt neglected by your partner, but that is not an excuse for having an affair.
You will be panicking with so much uncertainty. So establish the facts – that way you know what you are dealing with.
First, you need to get a pregnancy test. If you are pregnant, only you can decide how to proceed.
You may be able to determine who the likely dad is if you record the dates you were with each man and talk to your GP about when the pregnancy actually started.
If that’s not possible you would need to wait for DNA tests after the baby is born to determine paternity.
Organise counselling to help you decide how to handle the situation. Talk to fpa.org.uk (0300 123 7123).
My support pack Ending A Relationship will help you break free from your partner, but don’t assume his friend is going to be there for you.
