Writer Clare O’Reilly reveals what it’s like to sunbathe minus her bikini top for the first time ever.
After quick glances all around me, I take a deep breath and unhook the catch on my bikini top.
As it falls away from my skin, I close my eyes and lie back on my towel.
No, this is not the start of a Mills & Boon story.
It is how I, a 45-year-old mum of three, spent a sunny afternoon in Wembury, Devon, this week.
My body definitely isn’t what it used to be two decades ago, but for the first time ever, I sunbathed topless — in front of plenty of regular beachgoers.
Why now, you may wonder.
With the sun warming parts of me that never see the light of day, a better question might be: Why not now?
After all, new figures suggest it’s a dying trend.
A recent study revealed that 19 per cent of French women under the age of 50 sunbathe topless, compared to 29 per cent in 2016 and 43 per cent in 1984.
That’s a 50 per cent decrease in 40 years.
In the UK, the numbers fell from 26 per cent in 2016 to 19 per cent now.
Thank goodness for Spanish women though, who are bucking that trend.
The Catalonia region of the country — where Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola hails from — passed a law in 2020 that protects women’s right to sunbathe and swim topless.
As the only woman with her bits out on the beach in Devon, I start to wonder if I should hop on a flight to Barcelona to feel less conspicuous.
After decades of body positivity, why are women deciding to cover up now?
Studies suggest reasons include rising levels of criticism, fear of being verbally, physically or sexually assaulted . . . and men leering.
However, I feel safe so far — and I am perfectly within my rights to be topless in public in the UK.
There’s no law against it but if I disturb or annoy anyone while I’m at it, then I risk “outraging public decency”.
According to the Crown Prosecution Service, public nakedness must be done in a way that is not intended to cause “distress, alarm or outrage”.
Last summer, one UK police force went so far as to suggest that if you’re doing it in your own garden, you should let your neighbours know your plans — which leaves me wondering whether my neighbours are the type who would close the curtains or have a good peep.
Feeling a sense of freedom as I ponder this, I breathe deeply and try to relax, despite my smartwatch telling me my normally low heart rate is hovering around the higher end of average at 100bpm.
They’re only boobs at the end of the day but then I’m not exactly bursting with body confidence.
When I first joined a gym in the Nineties, I kept my eyes firmly on the floor as my fellow gym goers paraded round after showering.
I just tried to dress underneath my towel.
Born in the late Seventies, I was raised by pretty conservative parents.
With an Irish dad and a Portuguese mum, both catholic, it’s fair to say we weren’t exactly the most liberated household.
My wonderful mum is always the first to tell me if she thinks a top I wear is too low, even now.
But now that I have a 13-year-old daughter with her own body insecurities I’m starting to see things differently and have decided to ditch my usual prudish nature and embrace my curves and the body I’ve covered up for decades.
A quick WhatsApp message to some girlfriends confirms that I am definitely in the minority
Clare
Yet while I’m ditching the triangles of fabric that have kept me decent on many beaches down the years, plenty of other women are covering up.
A quick WhatsApp message to some girlfriends confirms that I am definitely in the minority.
Lots of my friends will sunbathe topless in their gardens or when abroad on holiday but very few do so on staycations.
They will only do it if they are not overlooked.
While there are plenty of nudist beaches dotting the British coast, from Scotland to Cornwall, I decided to unveil myself at my local beach.
With the sun beating down, I apply factor 30 to my boobs.
And I can feel myself starting to calm after 25 minutes debating whether I have the courage to wander down to for a dip in the sea.
It’s one thing lying still with my eyes closed — I can pretend I’m in my back garden or, better still, invisible — but wandering around topless is another thing all together.
In a world where women are still accused of courting attention — and danger — by how we dress, I do wonder whether the other women on the beach think I want to be gawped at (which, for the record, I very much do not).
But as I relax in the warmth of the sun I’m surprised how liberated and body positive I’m feeling.
According to research from Goldsmiths University in London, that is the exact effect getting my kit off should have.
Their research found that being naked increases self-esteem, with “a very good correlation” between outdoor nakedness and happiness.
Other studies have also found that nude-based activities lead to a more positive body image, increased self-esteem and better life satisfaction, with the effects most significant in those with no experience of being publicly naked before.
While I very much fall into the “no prior experience” category, I am pleased to see that after a couple of hours my tan lines have slightly faded, and my heart rate is normal.
I have also enjoyed a quick dip in the sea, and the few people who have made eye contact have not spat at me, thrown stones, shouted “shame” or called me names.
In fact, they have all smiled, with two women even saying good morning and pausing briefly to chat about the weather.
So, would I have the courage to go topless in a London park?
I very much doubt it.
Would I have the courage to go topless in a London park? I very much doubt it
Devon feels safe, as it’s a community I know, And where I’ve chosen to go topless is pretty quiet.
Slipping my bikini top back on, I’m sad to put my ageing boobs away.
They’ve breastfed three children, and while I’m closer to 50 than 20, a huge part of me wishes I’d got them out when they were at their most pert.
Not so people could look at them.
But so I’d have taken more body confidence into my thirties and forties, which might have rubbed off on my teenage daughter.
