I’M gazing up at a swirling, gold-leaf ceiling that took one man five years to paint.
Surrounding me are oil paintings, marble sculptures and an altar so bejewelled that I almost reach for my sunglasses.
No, I’m not at the Vatican or Versailles – I’m in Malta, in Valletta’s 450-year-old St John’s Co-Cathedral, which took artists more than a century to decorate.
And the entry fee of £13 per adult is most definitely worth it (Stjohnscocathedral.com).
This fortress-like building is set in the beating heart of Valletta, a UNESCO World Heritage Site and one of the world’s smallest capital cities.
After my spiritual experience, there’s time to dip into nearby Stephen Cordina Aroma & Therapy shop to buy a heavenly lavender and bergamot room diffuser, £14 (Stephencordina.com), before climbing the cobbled streets to Upper Barrakka.
This quaint, leafy park is nestled between limestone fortress walls and is the perfect spot to snap pictures of the glistening Grand Harbour.
At Upper Barrakka Kiosk, I sample traditional pastizzi – flaky, clam-shaped pastries stuffed with peas, 85p each, washed down with a can of Maltese Kinnie, £1.70, a zesty, Negroni-like soft drink, before I find family-run Trattoria da Pippo and my friends, who’ve been saving the table!
We tuck into large, sizzling pans of delicious Fillet Tartuffe, a creamy mushroom pasta, and Marina, a tagliatelli loaded with prawns and calamari, £17 per person for two sharing dishes (Facebook.com/dapippovalletta).
Keen to catch the four-hour-long happy hour back at Barceló Fortina, our home for the weekend, we board the seven-minute ferry, £1.70, across the bay to the resort town of Sliema and are soon poolside, sipping tangy Flower Lemonades – gin, lime and watermelon, £11 for two during happy hour.
The Instagrammable alfresco pool is perched on the edge of the Med, complete with DJs and club vibes.
Premium rooms have floor-to-ceiling windows with views across the bay to Valletta, Jacuzzi baths, couples’ sinks and wraparound balconies with hot tubs.
The next morning, I feast on freshly baked pastries with truffle-infused honey at breakfast, before recharging in Barceló’s wellness centre with its illuminated indoor pool, steam room and sauna.
As the sun sets, we head to Mdina, Malta’s old capital and its highest point.
A bridge takes us over the moat and through the city walls, to a narrow, weaving town.
Cars are banned in this “silent city” and footsteps echo down the cobbled lanes.
At Bacchus restaurant, inside an old gunpowder cellar, we clink glasses of Odyssey Rosé, £21.50 a bottle, before I tuck into chicken supreme stuffed with porcini and pine nuts, £21.20, and the indulgent sea salt caramel and chocolate tart, £7.60 (Bacchus.com.mt).
Back at the hotel, we sip Negroni nightcaps, £8.50.
I’ve been craving one since yesterday…
Double rooms at Barceló Fortina start from £118 per night (Barcelo.com).
Flights to Malta cost from £84 return.
