DEAR DEIDRE: Since my ex-boyfriend and I broke up six months ago, we have slept together several times.
He told me he still loves me but he doesn’t want to get back together, and I think he’s seeing other women. Am I being used?
I’m 24 and he’s 25. We were together for six years, and were each other’s first serious relationship.
Things fell apart because we kept arguing, but we have stayed friends.
I would do anything to get him back, but he says it’s over for good.
However, every time we meet up, we end up in bed. The sex is great – better than ever.
The next morning, I always feel bad and we agree not to let it happen again.
I also suspect he’s dating other women, but he denies it.
My best friend says he’s using me, and I’m letting him.
I don’t know what to do. I know I need to move on, but I can’t.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Getting over your first love is never easy.
It’s probably not easy for him either. But while he might not be deliberately using you, sleeping together is stopping you both from moving on.
It’s possible you can be friends in the future, when your feelings are less raw.
Until then, the best thing you can do is to have a complete break from him – no meeting up, messaging or talking. Just space and time.
This will give you time to grieve the relationship and build up your emotional strength.
My support pack, Moving On, might help.
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