DEAR DEIDRE: Hearing my grown son crying in his bedroom because he can’t move on from his lost relationship is desperate.
He’s 21 and was always a sociable lad. He went to university at 20 and he met this lovely girl who was 24. They started dating and I’d never seen him so happy.
After seven months she ended the relationship because he wouldn’t commit fully to her. She wanted them to get a place alone but he couldn’t afford the rent. She has moved on now.
Her friends were his housemates so when their relationship ended, they stopped speaking to him. He dropped out of uni and came home.
He’s brokenhearted. I’ve suggested a few different things and he’s been on dates but he comes home saying, “They’re not her”.
He says life isn’t worth living but he’s promised he won’t do anything silly because he wouldn’t put me, my husband or his grandma through the upset. I’m his mum and I’m 45.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Most people endure heartbreak at some stage but it won’t be easy to hear your son so upset.
Explain to him that if it wasn’t right for either of them at the time, then it was very unlikely to work out in the long term.
We can all have a tendency to remember relationships as better than they were. So remind him there will have been reasons why he was hesitant to commit.
He can find some free counselling through The Mix (themix.org.uk, 0808 808 4994). Their helpline is for anyone under 25. Their counsellors offer up to eight sessions for free.
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