DEAR DEIDRE: I used to be fun-loving and the life and soul of the party but my partner has sucked every ounce of self-esteem out of me.
I’m 36 with two kids and I’m cross with myself for going back to my ex.
I hate who I’ve become since I’ve been with him. He shouts and berates me in front of others.
He calls me names and if I confide in him, telling him a secret, he threatens to blow my private thoughts into the public domain.
He’s a police officer and he’s been married twice. I guess the writing should have been on the wall then.
He’s 41 and he thinks the whole world revolves around him. He loves his job and gets a kick out of banging people up.
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When we’ve split up before, he’s found every way possible to communicate with me again, begging and pleading for me to go back to him and I do, like a lovesick puppy.
My daughter is 12 and this guy isn’t her dad. She said to me that I’m no fun when I’m with him. I think she’s right.
I’ve lost all my confidence. I feel like I should be on my own again.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Your daughter speaks a lot of sense.
Your children are your priority and they don’t have a choice about what kind of a partner you choose – but you do.
He sounds abusive and your relationship is toxic as a result. This is damaging for your children to witness as they may think this is normal family life and go on to choose similar partners for themselves.
Talk to friends about their relationships. You may find they are very different from yours.
My support pack called Addictive Love may help you to make a stand and tell this guy he’s out of your life for good.
