DEAR DEIDRE: I AM worried my wife will divorce me after she discovered the Fifty Shades Of Grey book.
I’m 60 years old and my wife is 55. We have been married for 35 years and share four children.
Recently, my wife read Fifty Shades Of Grey as she’s trying to complete a reading challenge.
Ever since then she’s been constantly talking about the lead character, Christian Grey.
This fictional character is the opposite of me – young, rich, fit and handsome – while I’m struggling to make ends meet and haven’t been to a gym in years.
She does not stop going on about how she finds this fictional character attractive.
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To make things worse, she wants to spice up our sex life so it’s similar to the contents of the book.
I have never been into “spicy” sex as it makes me feel uncomfortable but now my wife is saying that our sex life isn’t “doing it for her”.
She complains that I need to be more adventurous and even shouted out at me during an argument that she would “go find someone who will do these things” with her.
I was heartbroken and I’m now terrified she’ll divorce me because of this book.
She has since apologised and said she didn’t mean a word of it but I can not get that moment out of my head.
Whenever she is now affectionate to me, I have begun pushing her away.
I feel like she’s no longer in love with me and is only trying to pacify my feelings. How can I win my wife back from a fictional man that she’s read about?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: It sounds as though Fifty Shades Of Grey has ignited something in your wife: a desire to be more experimental and more energetic in the bedroom.
She has communicated her new enthusiasm clumsily and has understandably upset you.
Try to talk to her when you are both feeling calm and away from the bedroom. Let her know how unsettled you are by her reaction to the book and explain you’d be more inclined if she was encouraging rather than threatening.
It’s important that you are both comfortable with what you are doing and that you are both satisfied. There will be ways to spice things up that feel right for you both.
My support pack on 50 Ways To Add Fun to Sex and Understanding Female Pleasure will give you suggestions on how to do this.
