A WOMAN has revealed that she regrets having a third child and claims that her baby boy has “messed up” her family dynamic.
The mum-of-three explained that having a baby, alongside an eight-year-old and a six-year-old is “hard work”.
She shared that she recently went abroad, and found it extremely “painful” having to cater to each child’s needs.
Not only this, but she explained that she feels like she is “missing out” on spending time with her two older children, because she is constantly dealing with her 18-month-old, who “never stops”.
The mother took to social media to open up about her situation, leaving many open-mouthed.
Posting on Reddit, under the @am_i_being_unreasonable thread, the mother titled her post: “Regret having a third child.”
Sharing her story under the username @Newusername3kidss, the anonymous woman revealed: “I know I am being unreasonable as children are a blessing and he was very much wanted but honestly if I could go back I wouldn’t have had a third.
“They are eight, six and 18 months old and everything is just hard work because of the youngest.”
The frustrated mum then went on to share her recent holiday experience, as she continued:
“Went on holiday last week and from the flight to every meal time to every painful bedtime all I kept thinking was we’d be having such a lovely time if it was just the four of us.
“My older boys are at the brilliant stage where they are a bit independent but also want to spend time with me and I feel like I’m missing out so much as so much of my time and effort is spent with the youngest who just never stops.”
The mother begged Reddit users: “If someone out there has been in a similar position please tell me it gets easier as I’m going under at the moment.
“We had such a great dynamic the four of us and I feel that rather than “completing” our family having a third has just messed it up.”
NSPCC – Offers support for parents, from helping to get babies to sleep, bonding with your baby, managing family life, dealing with bullying and even parental mental health.
Action For Children – Offers a parenting programme “to help parents and children bond, learn, or overcome difficulties”.
Family Lives – Call free on 0808 800 2222 for emotional support, information, advice and guidance on any aspect of parenting and family life.
Reddit users were left stunned by the woman’s confession and many rushed to the comments to share messages of love and support for the struggling mother.
One person said: “Totally normal! There should be more warnings on having a third!!!
“It’s total carnage. No money, no time, house is always a mess.”
Another year or two and it will be completely different. Hang in there!
Reddit user
Another added: “It’s quite a common story I think (not that it helps if it’s happening to you).
“It will get easier soon, and then more difficult again as the older ones hit their teens. After that the gap will shrink and shrink.”
A third commented: “I think it’s just the age of your third.
“Another year or two and it will be completely different. Hang in there!”
There are four recognised styles of parenting explained below:
Authoritarian Parenting
What some might describe as ‘regimental’ or ‘strict parenting.
Parents with this style focus on strict rules, obedience, and discipline.
Authoritarian parents take over the decision-making power, rarely giving children any input in the matter.
When it comes to rules, you believe it’s “my way or the highway.”
Permissive Parenting
Often referred to as ‘soft parenting’ or ‘yes mums/dads’.
Permissive parents are lenient, only stepping in when there’s a serious problem.
They’re quite forgiving and they adopt an attitude of “kids will be kids.”
Oftentimes they act more like friends than authoritative figures.
Authoritative Parenting
Authoritative parents provide their children with rules and boundaries, but they also give them the freedom to make decisions.
With an authoritative parenting style, parents validate their children’s feelings while also making it clear that the adults are ultimately in charge.
They use positive reinforcement techniques, like praise and reward systems, as opposed to harsh punishments.
Neglectful or Uninvolved Parenting
Essentially, neglectful parents ignore their children, who receive little guidance, nurturing, and parental attention.
They don’t set rules or expectations, and they tend to have minimal knowledge about what their children are doing.
Uninvolved parents expect children to raise themselves. They don’t devote much time or energy to meeting children’s basic needs.
Uninvolved parents may be neglectful but it’s not always intentional. A parent with mental health issues or substance abuse problems, for example, may not be able to care for a child’s physical or emotional needs consistently.
Meanwhile, someone else asked: “Do you have a partner? If so, tag team/divide and conquer.
“And make sure it’s not always him taking the big ones out to do fun stuff, while you’re always “stuck” with the little one.”
However, at the same time, others questioned why she chose to have a third child in the first place.
Why on earth did you have a third?
Reddit user
One user wrote: “It was always going to be harder with three rather than two. Surely you knew that!”
A second chimed in: “Kindly, was this not thought about before the decision was made to have a third?
“Surely it was obvious you’d have to start from the baby stage all over again whilst the older two became more independent.”
Whilst another questioned: “Why on earth did you have a third? You know what it entails as a mother of two already.”
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