DEAR DEIDRE: WHENEVER I have sex with my wife, I finish far too soon – leaving us both feeling frustrated.
But when I want to try again, it takes hours to get another erection.
I’m 43 and my wife is 40. We’ve been together for 10 years, and this has always been an issue.
I have no problem getting hard. My wife is gorgeous and really turns me on.
Yet once we start having sex, I always ejaculate within two minutes.
This never happens when I pleasure myself.
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My wife says it’s OK, but I can tell she’s upset about it, as she’s not even near orgasm at that point.
I say let’s go again in a few minutes, but then I can’t perform at all.
What can I do to get over this problem?
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
Deidre says:
So many men have this problem. In fact, about half of men only last two minutes.
Unfortunately, it’s a vicious circle. The more you worry about it, the more it’s likely to happen.
Take a look at my Lasting Longer support pack for self-help steps and techniques to deal with this.
When you masturbate, practise delaying your orgasm by bringing yourself to the edge and then stopping. This can train your brain and body to better control your orgasm response.
It’s normal not to be able to achieve an erection immediately after sex, unless you’re a very young man.
Make sure you engage in lots of foreplay, so you can make sure your wife is satisfied.
