DEAR DEIDRE: My boyfriend can’t cope with me having male friends, and it’s ruining our relationship.
He believes men and women can’t just be mates and that there must be more going on.
I’m 23 and he’s 25. We’ve been together for two years.
When we first met, he hung around in a group of guys, friends from his university days.
He introduced me to them, and we all got on really well.
We often go out to the pub together and have a real laugh.
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Sometimes, a few of them message me.
I can talk to them and feel like they get me – if I’m honest, more than he does, these days.
I have no interest in any of them romantically. In fact I often help them out with their own relationship issues.
I don’t flirt with them, and they are always appropriate with me. I make it clear how much I love my boyfriend, and treat him respectfully.
But my boyfriend gets moody whenever we go out with them, and when we get back, he starts an argument, telling me they’re not my friends but have ulterior motives.
I’ve spoken to some of them about this, and they think he’s being ridiculous too.
I don’t know why he’s so jealous and I’m starting to wonder whether we have a future.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
DEIDRE SAYS: Men and women absolutely can be just friends, and you’ve done nothing wrong.
Your boyfriend’s jealousy stems from insecurity.
Perhaps he’s been hurt in the past, or maybe he’s never had close friendships with women that weren’t based on attraction.
He may also sense that you feel his friends ‘get you’ more than he does.
Talk to him again and make it clear you love him, and would never cheat on him, but he needs to be more understanding or it will drive you apart.
My support pack, Dealing With Jealousy, should help you both.
