CELEBS Go Dating star Ella Morgan threatened to QUIT the show just weeks after filming began.
The 29-year-old – who was Married At First Sight‘s first transgender bride – has bravely opened up about a “triggering” experience during filming that’s made her seek therapy after the show ends.
“I’m not embarrassed, I’m not ashamed,” Ella told fans, as she insisted: “We should be more open about this subject.”
Admitting the E4 series has been “hard work” and tougher than filming MAFS, Ella said: “I’m really excited about this journey, but I nearly quit the other day. It was just getting so much.
“It was quite triggering. I don’t know what I was expecting. I thought it was going to be a bit of a breeze and a walk in the park.
“This is definitely more of a solo journey than MAFS. With Celebs Go Dating you’re working out what you do right, what do you wrong, what you need to work on.
“It all stems back to certain things and obviously my transition is a big part of it, but I don’t just want my therapist to talk about my transition, I want to talk about life.”
Ella – who is being supported by the channel’s therapists – has set goals to improve her life after filming ends, including getting her own therapist, going to the gym and being her more “authentic” self.
She added: “It’s so soon into filming, which is why I’m like ‘woah, what else is to come out? How else am I going to feel about myself?’
“I think this has all stemmed from the brunch the other day. Obviously I’m not going to go into detail – I’m probably not allowed to and I don’t want to get in trouble.
“Since MAFS I’ve been working on myself and I thought – because I haven’t dated since then – I’ve conquered it and it’s going to be so easy, but I’m realising there’s still more work to be done on myself.”
Ella went onto say she’s proud to be doing Celebs Go Dating and get her “back into dating”.
“I can’t just spend the rest of my life just working on me,” she said.
“The last year I have been working on myself and finding my happiness but going into dating I’ve realised I do do a few things.. I try to prove myself as a woman, as a girl to people and I don’t need to do that anymore.
“Also I go into things as this character because I’ve never really been fully accepted for me.
“So I kinda go into dates with guys as this OTT version of Ella. I didn’t realise I did this.
“I hide the real Ella behind this brash, fun, Ella because then if someone doesn’t like me then that’s the character anyway, so they can’t hurt me.
“I think it all stems from not wanting to be hurt.
“Now I’m going to have to be fully vulnerable and be myself, which isn’t just crazy, loud, fun Ella. I’m obviously a lot more serious and tame.
“I don’t need to prove myself to anyone.”
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