AMY Edwards, 32, is a mental health nurse and lives in Scarborough with husband Matt, 36, and children Maddie, four, Felicity, two, and twins Violet and Fred, 18 months.
Here she tells how mental health struggles saw her balloon to 20st – and how the horror of being asked to act as a bridesmaid put her back on the path to happiness.
“In the car on the way home from my friend’s wedding, I felt my eyes fill with tears.
All day, I’d kept a smile on my face, but inside, I felt incredibly low.
At 20st, I was so big, I’d had to get my bridesmaid dress custom-made from two size-18 gowns sewn together.
Growing up, I’d always been a slim size 10, 5ft 4in and 10st, eating healthily and exercising regularly.
In 2016, I met my husband Matt, then 24, on Tinder, and we got married in 2018.
The following year, we were delighted when I became pregnant – but it was a tough nine months.
I’d had mental health problems in my early 20s, and a few weeks after conceiving, I started suffering from extreme anxiety, OCD, and paranoia.
I was diagnosed with pregnancy psychosis, and started therapy, plus a community nurse visited me at home every couple of days.
I stopped exercising and started comfort eating, gaining weight on top of the normal pregnancy pounds.
Our daughter Maddie was born in December 2019 and, almost immediately, my mental health returned to normal.
It was a huge relief to feel like myself again, but I couldn’t seem to curb the comfort eating, particularly when lockdown hit the following March.
Over the next two years, we had three children – Felicity in June 2021, and twins Violet and Fred in December 2022.
Thankfully, although I suffered complications with all of my pregnancies, I didn’t have any more mental health problems.
But life was crazy with four little ones, and my weight crept up as I binged on chocolate, sweets and biscuits.
By January 2023, I weighed 20st and was a size 26.
A friend asked me to be one of her seven bridesmaids. I said yes, because I didn’t want to let her down, but inside I felt sick at the prospect of being on show in front of people and in the photos
I adored my children and had no regrets about having them in quick succession, but when I looked in the mirror, I barely recognised myself.
I had rolls of fat and felt exhausted all the time.
I was so self-conscious.
Then, a friend asked me to be one of her seven bridesmaids.
I said yes, because I didn’t want to let her down, but inside I felt sick at the prospect of being on show in front of people and in the photos.
When she sent me the link to the bridesmaids’ dresses so I could order one, my heart sank.
It only went up to a size 18 – there was no way it would fit me.
I felt too embarrassed to tell my friend, and didn’t want her to have to change her choice for me.
So I ordered two dresses, paying £85 for the second one myself, and found a local dressmaker to sew them together, at a cost of £180.
When I tried on the dress a few months later, I couldn’t believe it had come to this – but at least it now fitted me.
In March 2023, I travelled to the wedding with Matt and cried before I got ready.
I spent the day mortified that I had to be at such a big event looking the way I did.
It was on the way home that I knew I needed to make some serious changes – I couldn’t go on feeling this way about myself.
That month, I programmed my Fitbit to work out my maximum daily calorie intake to help me lose just over 2lb a week and reach an eventual goal weight of 9.5st, plus I decided to start the Couch To 5k running challenge.
I’m a year into my new lifestyle and am now 10stand a size 10. I even ran the London Marathon this year, something I’d never have thought possible.
I knew it was going to be tough, but as soon as I started following the calorie count and ditched takeaways, chocolate and crisps, the weight began to drop off.
I found time to exercise by running with the twins in a double buggy.
Matt was super-supportive and suggested we buy a treadmill so I could also run when the kids napped.
By December 2023, I’d lost 7st, weighed 11st and was a size 12.
I felt so much more energised.
I began posting on Instagram to keep myself accountable and I was amazed how many people got in touch to cheer me on.
I’m a year into my new lifestyle and am now 10st and a size 10.
I even ran the London Marathon this year, something I’d never have thought possible.
After my friend’s wedding, I dumped my awful bridesmaid’s dress in a bin in my hotel room because I couldn’t bear to see it again.
But I’ll never forget how it made me feel – and I’ll never feel that way about myself again.”
Follow Amy @4under3_marathonmum on Instagram.
