WRITER and mum of two explains why children running wild spoils the experience of eating out for grown-ups.
As a parent with two young children, I’ve had to accept that some things in life are no longer for me – a full night’s sleep, going to the loo alone and, sadly, eating at a restaurant.
Pre-kids, my husband and I loved nothing more than having dinner in our local Italian, or whiling away a Sunday afternoon with a roast and glass of wine in a cosy country pub.
The only thing that spoiled those experiences was the deafening screeches of children left to run riot by lazy parents who treated these places like a giant soft play.
I live in Worcester with my husband and our children aged five and two.
Now I’m a parent myself, I know that climbing on furniture and the urge to run, rather than walk, is second nature to little ones.
That is why they simply don’t belong in restaurants.
Much like a bottle of red followed by a round of tequila slammers, the two do not mix.
When I heard about the couple whose first date was ruined by a family who inexplicably chose Valentine’s Day to take their baby and six-year-old out for dinner, I was not in the least bit surprised.
The baby screamed its head off, while the little girl raced around, flicking her long hair in horrified diners’ meals.
Meanwhile, Mummy and Daddy no doubt gazed into each others’ eyes and enjoyed a night off from parenting as everyone else’s evening was ruined.
Today, a growing number of parents think that once they set foot in a pub or restaurant, their role as guardian is null and void.
They feel they can happily relax over dinner or drinks while staff and fellow customers become makeshift babysitters.
It is as if they think their little cherubs are so delightful, we all need to experience the joy of parenting them.
Well, they couldn’t be more wrong.
My child-free trips to pubs and restaurants are now rare and precious.
That means I don’t want them marred by out-of-control kids who, high on a cocktail of ketchup, ice cream and half-drunk Fruit Shoots, have been allowed to run amok like a mini stag party on their first night in Magaluf.
The debate over banning children from boozers has been raging for years.
Since 1995, children under 14 are legally allowed in pubs.
But entitled parents still act as if there’s been a breach of the Geneva Conventions if anyone dares suggest that a place designed for drinking alcohol should not welcome their brood with open arms.
After businesses reopened in the wake of Covid, dozens of pubs came under fire for banning kids, after customers complained of children giddily tearing from table to table and flouting the social distancing rules as though they were at a No10 party.
When one landlady banned kids from her 500-year-old boozer, hundreds of parents took to Tripadvisor in protest.
Well, I think she was entirely justified.
Almost as bad as the parents of children allowed to run rampant through restaurants are those who smugly plonk their offspring in front of a tablet or smartphone blaring out cartoons at full volume, then ignore them for the next two hours.
I like Bluey as much as the next person, but I don’t want to hear it from three tables away while finally enjoying a meal I have not had to cook, thanks.
Last week, when a London pub cancelled a family’s booking where children outnumbered the adults, outraged parents shouted about the plight of those who had “no choice” but to bring kids with them.
Newsflash: You don’t have to take your children to the pub.
It is not school.
Years ago, I worked in pubs and restaurants and the worst part was always the families who thought the world revolved around them.
I shuddered when I heard about the mum who expected restaurant staff to happily look after her toddler while she nipped outside for a cigarette — and was then incredulous they were not over the moon at the opportunity she provided.
I remember my own horror stories well — the mum changing her baby’s nappy on the restaurant floor in between courses, the family who brought home-cooked food for us to serve to their fussy ten-year-old, and the time a colleague was rushed to A&E with burns.
She had ended up wearing a lasagne after an out-of-control kid careered into her.
The pro-kids in pubs and restaurants brigade love to cry that they are only trying to help an industry already on its knees.
Yes, the British Beer and Pub Association reports that more than 750 pubs are expected to close in the first half of 2024 alone.
But establishments which have already banned children are reaping the rewards.
Punters who are not desperate to escape the wails of feral toddlers stay longer and spend more.
When the Government banned smoking in workplaces in 2007 (2006 in Scotland), it was met with outcry: How would the pubs survive?
But before long, we all realised it was actually quite nice not to wake up the next day smelling like an ashtray.
If children were banned from pubs, I am sure it would be met with the same initial fury.
But we’d quickly get used to being able to enjoy a drink in an adult-only environment, without the fear of tripping over a Squishmallow on the way out.
SAMANTHA Yule, 49, a writer from Leeds, lives with her mortgage advisor husband Scott, 48 and their sons Max, 14, and Rufus, ten.
She says:
Parents know that going to restaurants with kids can be a nightmare.
I have always gone armed with a bag full of entertainment in case boredom strikes.
But even with that, it is not an easy task.
I wouldn’t say my kids have been naughty over the years, but maybe a bit noisy and very wriggly, so we have attracted a few scathing comments.
I was once at a restaurant for a family birthday when my eldest was only one.
The lady at the next table took great offence at the mess that my child was making — and so I told her to mind her own business.
Another time, when having lunch with a friend, I got told off by staff for my son’s iPad being too loud when firstly it wasn’t loud, and secondly, there was only one other punter in the venue, who was sitting nowhere near us.
I never went there again.
And my youngest son was once told off by the owner of a cafe for being too loud when he was refusing to share his can of pop with his brother.
‘It’s not your place to tell my child off’
So I was furious, because I didn’t think it was this person’s place to tell my child off.
I was already dealing with the situation myself.
These hurtful attacks made me feel bad about my parenting when I had done nothing wrong.
Kids are a part of life, they are part of our families and are an important part of the world we live in.
To think children should be seen and not heard is outdated and impossible.
It is lovely when our children are involved in family occasions, and they often bring laughter and great memories to an event.
Parents cannot always get child-care but, crazy as it may sound, we love our kids and like them to share experiences with us.
Any responsible parent will do their best to make sure their children behave.
Timing dining in line with their usual meal times helps, as well as making sure not to stay too long.
I do not want any-body else’s dining experience to be at all miserable, but also do not want mine to be miserable or my kids to be unhappy.
So if children do start playing up, try to cut parents some slack.
The world is not there for the judgmental people among us to claim for themselves.
Families are paying for their meals, so are entitled to eat alongside the masses.
Before anybody judges, they should remember that they were once children too.
What’s more, I know plenty of adults who are not as well behaved as my kids.
