DEAR DEIDRE: We’re only in our twenties, but my girlfriend and I don’t have sex any more.
Neither of us has a high libido as we both take antidepressants. But I worry we’re not compatible sexually. Is our relationship doomed?
I’m 29 and she’s 26. We’ve been a couple for four years.
When we got together, we were intimate regularly. But I always had a much higher sex drive than her, so I was frequently frustrated. She never initiated it.
Since we have been on drugs for anxiety and depression, our love life has tailed off to nothing.
Now we haven’t had sex at all for six months.
We talked about it and my girlfriend said she didn’t really miss it. But I do.
I feel I’m too young to give up on sex and I don’t want to be celibate.
However, I love her and want to be with her. How can we fix this?
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DEIDRE SAYS: Having depression – and taking some of the medication for it – can sap the libido.
You could talk to your GPs about alternative drugs and counselling. See my support pack on Depression.
But it sounds like this has been an issue from the start. Sex drives do vary between couples and can change over time too.
It is possible to make a relationship work with different sex drives, but you need to compromise or it will lead to resentment.
See my support packs on Sex Drives and Sex Play Therapy, which has exercises to reignite passion.
