DEAR DEIDRE: A RING doorbell was meant to make our home more secure – and to ensure that my girlfriend’s engagement ring arrived safely while I was out at work.
Only it revealed her secret — she’d been cheating on me, in our bed.
She’s 29, I’m 32, and we’ve been together for five years.
I thought we were great. We were planning our future and talking about renovations for our next home.
And I’d had no complaints when it came to our sex life, getting intimate two or three times a week.
So I decided that I was going to pop the question. In September, I’d finally managed to save enough to buy her dream ring.
It was due to arrive last Wednesday, so I rushed home early from work to hide the package before she spotted it. The first to arrive home, I was disappointed to see the ring hadn’t been delivered.
I’d ordered a Ring doorbell but hadn’t had a chance to set it up.
So that evening, I made sure it was working so I could keep an eye out for the delivery. The next day, my Ring doorbell app went off at 10.32am. I was so excited, I stepped out of my meeting to check if it was my parcel.
But pulled up on the drive was a car I didn’t recognise and a man I’d never seen before standing on my doorstep.
He went inside and didn’t reappear until two hours later. At 12.45pm, he kissed my girlfriend goodbye before getting into his car.
She obviously doesn’t understand that the new doorbell allows you to see whoever is at your home, through your phone, by sensing motion.
When I got home that night I could barely look at her. She knew something was off, but I just said I had a bad headache.
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I know I should leave her and have some self-respect. But I also can’t imagine my life without her.
Plus, if it’s just sex, I feel like I could get over that.
DEIDRE SAYS: Before you make any decisions, you need all the details – so sit your partner down and explain what you have seen.
There is a reason people cheat. Perhaps something was missing for her in your current relationship.
Ask her to be brutally honest. It’s going to be hard to hear but will help you decide if you can move forward.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
My support pack Cheating – Can You Get Over It? will help you. You need to be sure she is truly sorry for any infidelity and that she wants to make amends.
Please consider some counselling, on your own or as a couple. If you choose to stay together, it’s going to take time and effort to rebuild the trust.
