DEAR DEIDRE: HOW do I tell my girlfriend I’m not sure I want to be married? She is desperate for me to propose.
It’s not that I don’t want to be with her – I’m just terrified of commitment.
I’m 29 and she is 27. Before her, I dated two other girls, but each time I called it off because the pressure felt too much.
I know my fears stem from watching my parents go through a bitter divorce after my dad had an affair. I don’t want to end up like that, hating the person I was meant to love.
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I never thought I could have a long-term relationship, but then I met my girlfriend. She is great, and I love spending two nights a week with her.
But the thought of having to spend every day together makes me feel anxious.
DEIDRE SAYS: You are not alone in saying your parents’ split has influenced your feelings towards commitment – this is actually pretty common.
But you can change if you want to.
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Consider having counselling to help you work through these feelings. My support pack, How Counselling Can Help, shows where to find someone local.
But also be open with your girlfriend. Ask her to be patient while you work through things.
