AFTER six weeks of fun in the sun during the summer holidays, children will soon be back in the classrooms and on their best behaviour.
But it turns out it’s not just kids who have a strict set of rules to follow.
Speaking exclusively to Fabulous, etiquette expert William Hanson has revealed that parents also have a tick list they’re expected to abide by.
So, whether you’re on the school drop-off or vocal on the class WhatsApp chat, here are the ten things you need to consider…
Keep it focused and related to school and class issues.
It shouldn’t become an ‘oh we’ve done this outside of school look at how cute my child is, or I’m raising money for whatever charity by doing this sponsored run’ – that’s separate.
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It’s purely for school-related matters and it’s a sure-fire way to irk other parents if you then start discussing more general types of things.
They should be done in a private chat, not a group chat.
Walking up to the school gate, particularly for a child when it is a new school, is daunting.
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Allowing your child to be able to slowly take in that moment and the new surroundings, rather than rushing up to the gates on a scooter, is key.
There’s also the risk of potentially scootering into the way of new parents.
Scooters, especially when they come up the side of you on the pavement when they should be in the road, can be alarming.
So if every child approaching the school or in the playground was on a scooter, it’d be carnage.
End of term of Christmas gifts for teachers once they’ve actually done something is fair enough if you want to do it.
However, bringing a gift at the start of the academic year is basically telling your child’s teacher, ‘my son or daughter is a fruit loop and you’re going to have to really hard work with them.’
It says to me: ‘We haven’t already done a lesson yet but we’re already bribing you.’
Like with any gift, tailor it to the person. But don’t buy anything extravagant or over the top, it’s not a competition for affection.
Bringing a gift at the start of the academic year is basically telling your child’s teacher, ‘my son or daughter is a fruit loop and you’re going to have to really hard work with them’
William Hanson
Everyone’s personal circumstances differs so don’t spend any more than £30-£40 on a gift. And you can’t spend that amount of money on every single teacher your child has – particularly if they get to their time of life where they might have different teachers for different subjects.
Or you don’t have to get a gift. If you can’t afford a gift or you don’t like the teacher that much, just a nice little card with ‘thank you so much’ actually sometimes means a lot more than the token bottle of wine.
I would call that a distraction. You need a pencil case but it doesn’t need to be a soft toy substitute. By your pencil chase shall you be judged.
I would keep it fairly straight-forward for your child.
Learning by all means is meant to be fun, but it’s not meant to be frivolous.
Don’t turn up with unbrushed hair or in a onesie because you’ve come from the sofa to either collect or drop off your child.
If you’re having a bad day and you’re not dressed very nicely you can stay in the car and get the child to come to you.
If not, I’m afraid you’re representing your child and it’s a bit embarrassing if you turn up a little bit scruffy.
You don’t have to have a full face of makeup, you don’t have to be wearing your best jacket if you’re a gentleman, but you need to look vaguely presentable and set a good example for your child.
The other parents will judge you, they shouldn’t, but it happens.
Revise greetings with your child – this is particularly key after Covid when children perhaps weren’t interacting with anyone of any age.
Again, this will make good first impressions particularly for a new school year.
They don’t have to shake hands with their new friends for example, they can if they want to, it’s not wrong, but they should shake hands with the teacher, the headteacher and other staff members that they come into contact with. So have a little revision of how to shake your hand.
If you look at Prince George, Princess Charlotte and I’m sure Prince Louis will do it, they make eye contact with their teacher when you see them arriving at school for the first time, there’s a smile and the handshake seems quite solid.
If they have a good handshake and make good eye contact, that’s half of life done.
Don’t forget, shaking hands aged four is going to be very different to how you shake a hand aged 14 when you’ve got a bit of muscle.
Even if they’re starting school of going into sixth form college, you can still do a greetings revision.
Avoid gossiping in front of your child, particularly about other parents.
Children – particularly younger children – are so receptive and do pick up on everything.
Don’t over commit, especially at the start of term when the child may or may not have activities or social engagements because it’s the start of a new year
William Hanson
If parents do hear some hilarious piece of gossip, or bad mouth another parent or the behaviour of another child, you don’t discuss that in front of your child because it’ll come back to bite you on the bottom.
Don’t over commit, especially at the start of term when the child may or may not have activities or social engagements because it’s the start of a new year.
A typical management tactic is that if someone invites you somewhere, say: ‘Oh gosh that sounds fantastic, may I get back to you.’
You don’t have to say ‘yes’ on the spot because actually, your child may not want to go to Lucas’ party because Lucas is a bully but you don’t know that or you don’t know that that day they had some argument.
If people ask you to help out at the weekend at the bake sale, don’t stretch yourself or your child too thinly.
Just say ‘I’ll come back to you’ – don’t say ‘yes’ immediately.
On a similar note, the golden rule of the school gate is don’t discuss parties.
If your child has been invited to Annabel’s party on the weekend but Lucas has not been, discussing Annabel’s party even in passing is going to upset Lucas or Lucas’parents and it’s going to create a headache for Annabel’s parents.
Any parties or activities that are not school-related, don’t discuss at the school gate. You discuss them on text or privately with another person.
If you have had a lovely holiday this year, and maybe you have because you haven’t really been able to go on holidays for the last couple of years, some people may not have done.
You should never go on about your holiday at great length anyway.
We don’t need to see photographs – you were posting them on Instagram because Instagram is the photo album of today and people can voluntarily choose to look at your photos.
Don’t brag about it – especially if you don’t know these parents because it’s a new school.
You are going to come across a little bit weird if your first port of call for conversation is to brag about your holiday.
Make it so that it’s your mistake and not theirs and say: ‘Oh gosh I think Annabel may have brought home Lucas’ rugby top the other day, have you lost one?’
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That then forces them to look into their stock and they may say: ‘Oh gosh no but whilst you mention it we do actually have one of yours.’
That way it comes back to you.
