DEAR DEIDRE: SEX with my husband is such a let-down that I gave into a crazy night of passion with a complete stranger.
It couldn’t get any worse. We had unprotected sex and I’m pregnant.
I’m 38 and my husband is great in every way, except in the bedroom.
Sex has always been our issue. I’ve never been with such a small guy.
If we try to have intercourse, I can’t feel anything.
He knows he is small — in fact, I told him that he was the smallest.
He’s 36 and he works hard. He does lots of the housework and takes care of our three kids.
He’s a brilliant dad and if I want to go out with my mates, he doesn’t bat an eyelid.
But I’ve had countless flings. He doesn’t know about any of them.
I went out with some workmates to celebrate a birthday recently and met a guy in a bar.
He said he was 40 and we had a proper giggle.
To be honest, he was so good looking and cheeky, I didn’t care if he was married or single, I knew I just wanted him.
He said he lived a five-minute walk from the bar, so I went back to his flat.
Within moments of getting to his place, we were all over each other. My clothes were off and I didn’t think about contraception.
The sex was fast but he felt so good and it satisfied my desires.
Now I’m pregnant and my hubby will know it’s not his — because he’s been sleeping on the sofa for months, since I told him I didn’t want sex with him.
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I don’t want to get rid of this baby. I had problems conceiving my last one.
But if my husband knows I’ve been cheating he’ll leave.
DEIDRE SAYS: If you really want this baby, you’ll have to tell your husband you cheated and deal with the fall-out.
He’s a good man, though, and doesn’t deserve an unfaithful wife.
He will be all too aware of his size, without you shaming him. There was no need to crush his self-esteem and he’ll be hurt you no longer want intimacy.
Most women find the best satisfaction through foreplay and stimulation of their erogenous zones, not necessarily through intercourse.
Many women enjoy fulfilling sex lives with smaller men.
If you both decide you want to stay together, sexual and relationship therapy would certainly help you reframe how you think about sexual satisfaction.
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Please contact the College Of Sexual And Relationship Therapy (cosrt.org.uk, 020 8543 2707) who can help you find someone reputable.
And please seek advice on your pregnancy by reading my Unplanned Pregnancy support pack.
