DEAR DEIDRE: EVER since I found out my boyfriend had lied about going to see strippers, I’ve been obsessed with going to a club myself.
I can’t stop thinking about it. I feel that if I can see them, I’ll understand him better and get over it.
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I’m 28 and my boyfriend is 30. We have a six-month-old baby together.
He went to a stag weekend last month – his first proper night out since the baby was born.
When he came home, it was obvious he’d been drinking and taking drugs. He was a mess.
I asked where they’d all gone and he said a club. But from his face I knew there was more to it.
In the end, he admitted they’d gone to a strip club and had lap dances.
I felt so sick. He’d promised me before that he wouldn’t do this.
Now I keep picturing what he saw. I imagine him touching them and getting turned on.
I worry he fancied them more than me.
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I’m still not back in shape because I’m breastfeeding.
Maybe if I go to the same club and see those strippers in the flesh, it will get these thoughts out of my head.
DEIDRE SAYS: Please don’t go to the strip club.
It will not make you feel better. If anything, it will make things worse, as you will put faces to the bodies you are imagining.
You are feeling very insecure, which is not surprising, especially as you had a baby recently.
Talk to your partner and let him reassure you that it is you he loves, fancies and wants to be with, not a stripper.
MORE FROM DEAR DEIDRE
My support pack on Looking After Your Relationship should help.
My pack on Building Self-Esteem could also be good for you to read.
