A CONCERNED mum has revealed how her ex still shares a bed with their eight-year-old daughter – and she wants him to stop.
Writing into Laura Mazza’s news.com.au parenting advice column, the mum said she believes her daughter is “getting too old for this now” and wants advice.
The mum wrote: “My ex-husband still sleeps with my nearly 8-year-old daughter in his bed.
“She has her own bed and bedroom to herself and I’ve kept telling her to sleep in her own bed at dads.
“But she says ‘Dad says to mind your own business’. I feel she is getting too old for this now. What do I do?”
Laura wrote a lengthy reply, reassuring the mum it’s normal to be concerned and started by urging her to go to the police if she believes her ex might harm their daughter.
She added: “I would also suggest having a calm and open conversation with your daughter… Let her know that you are a protective and safe person with whom they can share anything.”
Laura said the mum might simply have a different family background to her ex, which informs their opposing views.
She said: “For your ex, he may have bed-shared with his parents until he naturally grew out of it, and for you, perhaps bed-sharing wasn’t a part of your childhood.”
On the whole, bed-sharing with older kids is not an issue, unless it is becoming detrimental to the child’s independence, Laura added.
Signs of this could be their daughter refusing to sleep alone when she’s back at mum’s and struggling to go to sleepovers with friends.
Laura added: “Some children can feel anxious and find comfort in sleeping with their parents.
“And after a separation, children can develop a fear of abandonment, so having a parent close to them at night can ease their anxiety.
“If none of the above is a concern or becomes a concern, I would leave it be. Many parents bed share, and many children naturally grow out of it.
“If it isn’t causing any harm to her, then don’t cause harm to your relationship with your ex by making a big deal about it.
“Children need to see their parents co-parenting to grow up feeling secure. So my advice to you? If nothing is wrong, let this one go.”
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