ELLIE Goulding has admitted she is struggling with crippling anxiety and is ‘not very good’ in candid Instagram post.
The 35-year-old singer took to social media on New Year’s Eve to wish her fans a happy 2022.
However, Ellie opened up about how difficult 2021 had been for her, despite it also being “the very best year of my life” after welcoming son Arthur with husband Caspar Jopling eight months ago.
She wrote: “Happy New Year everyone… This past year has been the very best of my life. I became a mother, the greatest joy I’ve known.”
Ellie then detailed her pride in releasing her first book Fitter. Calmer. Stronger as well as getting back into the studio to work on new music.
She continued: “I have a dog and a cat that love me, I have my friends that really love me, and I have a husband that adores and supports me every single day.
“But this year has also been the hardest of my life. I’ve struggled daily, nightly, hourly with a kind of panic I didn’t even know existed.
“While the moments of being on stage in front of all of you have been some of the most exhilarating and calming, this year I have been struggling.”
Ellie explained how she has battled with anxiety many times during her life, and while it makes her “sad”, it has also made her who she is today.
She wrote: “Sometimes at my most terrified, when I feel there is no escape from the sheer panic and dread in my heart and brain, I remind myself that I can feel.
“I feel so much and that is how I have got to this place in my life. I want to tell you this on the last day of this year because so many of you have been asking how I’m doing and often do not get a reply.
“It’s because I’ve been too scared to admit that the answer is, not very good. I feel like something is broken inside – something that has been echoed deeply by the few I have opened up to.
“This is something so so many people have gone through, you may be going through right now, or might go through in the future – and I just wanted to say, and I have to remind myself all the time, that it’s not just you, it’s not just me. Crippled by anxiety.
“I know so many of you reading this feel this same pain and at the same time so many of you won’t have experienced it, but will most likely know someone who has struggled.”
She then encouraged any of her followers who felt the same to open up about it to friends and loved ones for a “bright” and “positive” new year.
She added: “Talking and opening up is the hardest, and the best thing you can do. Life is a precious thing and seeing Arthur grow every day gives me so much hope.
“I have so much love and energy for anyone going through this. Let’s get through this together.
“2022 is going to be a bright year. Positive energy. Together. Signing off (for a bit) and sending so much love, as ever, to you all xx”.
