DEAR DEIDRE: A YOUNG woman joined my husband’s team at work – and since then he’s gone off sex. I think he’s having an affair. He works as a security guard looking after large office buildings. His colleagues are generally men, but a couple of months ago, a woman in her late 20s joined them. […]
DEAR DEIDRE: A YOUNG woman joined my husband’s team at work – and since then he’s gone off sex.
I think he’s having an affair.
No issue is too small, too large or too embarrassing. Read our personal replies here.
He works as a security guard looking after large office buildings.
His colleagues are generally men, but a couple of months ago, a woman in her late 20s joined them.
He told me he had been asked to take her under his wing and show her the ropes. We have been together for 20 years. I’m 43 and he’s 44.
Our sex life was always good and regular – he has always had a higher sex drive than me – but in the past month he’s not been interested. He says he’s too tired.
He’s also working longer hours – going out early and coming back late – and drinking more. He’s distant and unaffectionate.
I am too scared to confront him about this, but my gut tells me this woman is the reason.
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DEIDRE SAYS: It might be that you have put two and two together and made five. Talking to him is the only way you’ll find out the truth.
He could genuinely be stressed and tired – this does have an effect on libido. Alcohol doesn’t help, either.
Tell him you’re feeling anxious about the change in your sex life and ask him to be honest. Read my support pack, Looking After Your Relationship.
