DEAR DEIDRE: VAIN doesn’t even begin to cover it when it comes to my girlfriend. She is obsessed with looking in the mirror – even during sex.
We’ve been together for two years and when she first suggested setting up the mirror by our bed I was up for it. We’re both 25 and live together.
I thought, yes, a little kinky is good. And I was looking forward to seeing our bodies move together from different angles.
But then after a couple of sessions I realised she wasn’t looking at us – she was simply focusing on herself. It’s made me realise how preoccupied she is with her appearance.
She spends hours getting ready to go anywhere – even the corner shop – and she wouldn’t even step into our back garden without a full face of make-up.
I don’t want to use the mirror during sex any more but she always wants to. It makes me feel invisible.
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DEIDRE SAYS: In a world where there is so much focus on appearance and looking perfect, your girlfriend, like so many others, feels the constant pressure to look perfect and it’s probably affecting her self-esteem.
Try to build up her confidence and in turn she will connect more with you.
Can you suggest she cuts down on her social media time, and arrange activities where you can connect with each other? And talk to her about how always using the mirror makes you feel like a bystander.
