WHEN news broke that human remains had been found in the search for Sarah Everard, it sent shockwaves across the country. Women both in and outside London took to social media to share their anger and upset for her family, after the 33-year-old disappeared while walking home. Presenter and voiceover artist Kavita Kukar, 33, who […]
WHEN news broke that human remains had been found in the search for Sarah Everard, it sent shockwaves across the country.
Women both in and outside London took to social media to share their anger and upset for her family, after the 33-year-old disappeared while walking home.
Follow our live blog for the latest developments on the case of missing Sarah Everard
Presenter and voiceover artist Kavita Kukar, 33, who lives in Brixton and regularly meets her friends around Clapham Common, often walks the same route Sarah was last seen taking.
Here, she reveals her shock and calls for more to be done to make women feel safe on the street.
She says: “We all know that panicked feeling as we repeatedly scan the area around us, clutching our key in our clenched fist, desperate to see our front door.
It’s become all too normal for women to feel that chilling fear and take endless precautions for a simple walk home, texting or calling our friends, crossing the street when someone gets too close, always being on guard.
In 2021, it shouldn’t be like this.
Worries over the pandemic overtook some of those fears recently. That is, until last week, when 33-year-old Sarah Everard disappeared on a street I myself walk down regularly.
I’ve lived in Brixton my whole life and I walk around Clapham Common all the time, often walking home alone and feeling safe because there’s so many people and so many lights.
Sarah did everything right – she called her boyfriend, he knew where she was going, she was wearing bright clothes, she took the main roads.
It was just her normal walk home and she took all the right steps to keep herself safe.
When I saw the latest news, I burst into tears. All of a sudden itfelt like we’d all lost somebody close to us – we could all relate to her, she’s all of us in that terrible moment.
But for me, one particularly shocking outcome has been the disgusting amount of victim shaming happening online.
People saying things like, ‘Why wasn’t she walking with a man? She should have got an Uber?’
At one point, the hashtag #notallmen was actually trending above her name – as men rushed to defend themselves and insist they’d never hurt a woman, almost making it all about them.
They’re completely missing the point.
It’s not up to women to stay indoors, or to protect themselves and not walk alone. It should be up to men not to attack us.
While parents are teaching their daughters to protect themselves, they should be teaching their sons not to make women feel anxious or afraid.
I actually had a man tell me to stay at home when I tweeted about Sarah, saying he was stronger than me so he could go out on the streets and I shouldn’t.
I also had a male friend message me, asking me to explain to him why women were upset with police telling them to stay at home. I had to explain to him that it was because they were essentially taking our freedoms away, but not taking any of men’s away.
I don’t think a lot of men had realised the full extent of how many precautions we take every day.
As women, it should be our right to be able to walk alone, enjoy some time on our own and not be worried. Men have that right, why shouldn’t we?
It’s your me time, you can listen to your podcast, listen to music, and lose yourself a bit. You shouldn’t have to have your guard up.
But of course, you do.
It’s become second nature now for me to only ever have one headphone in when walking on my own, and I hide my headphones in my clothes so nobody can see I’ve got them on.
When we say goodbye to our friends, the line ‘text me when you’re home safe’ comes as easily as ‘bye’.
I had Find My Friends on my phone so I could track where my best friend was, I’ll always share my Uber journey with someone, I hold my umbrella in my hand as some added security. It’s all just habit.
Yet still, it’s not always enough. Too many of us still feel that overwhelming fear when we’re walking alone.
Last year, I was walking down Clapham Park Road on my way home in the middle of the afternoon and there was a man running behind me.
I wasn’t paying much attention, I think I was listening to a podcast, and as he overtook me he touched my leg – really high up.
I remember his hand felt really wet. It happened so fast, I had no warning or time to react.
I just froze, looked around and no one had seen. When I got home I reported it to the police, but they never found anything.
I was really shaken and worried about going out for a while after that. I even thought, ‘should I be wearing tights?’ but it was a sunny day, why should I have to?
Just months later, I was walking home past Brockwell Park. It was dark and I just felt so on edge, I found myself constantly scanning and checking around me, with this irrational fear that someone was going to come out of the park at me. I even turned off my music.
Women take these steps as second nature.
I’ll always remember years ago, when I was in Leicester Square, a man grabbed my crotch as I was walking.
I actually went round the corner afterwards and put some tights on, feeling like I needed to cover up.
I was with a female friend who talked me out of going to the police saying, ‘This always happens, you don’t need to’. It shouldn’t.
I hope there’s change, now more than ever. I hope that policy makers are seeing what we’re going through.
I think it’s the government’s responsibility to make streets safer for women, it’s not women’s responsibility to stay at home or not take risks.”
