DEAR DEIDRE: I HAVE been having sex with two men, who took it in turns to visit me every week before lockdown while my husband was at work and our two children were in bed.
I know I shouldn’t have been seeing one other man, let alone two.
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But now we are in lockdown again, I’m worried I can’t see either guy and I’m feeling so lonely.
I am 32 and a housewife. My husband is 37 and I would say we were happily married.
He isn’t working at the moment because of the covid crisis.
He had started working night-shifts because the pay is so much better but it meant we hardly saw each other.
My flings are only ever a little bit of fun. I never let myself get involved emotionally.
Before the pandemic, my sister-in-law used to babysit for me so that I could go out.
She stopped offering, though, after she became suspicious of a male friend of mine.
I did have a kiss and cuddle with him in his van but I didn’t let it go any further than that.
Then I joined an online dating site and quickly got talking to two men.
One was an electrician in his forties and the other was a joiner in his early twenties. They were both keen to meet.
I used to see the electrician in my garage at home every Wednesday, while the younger one would get it on with me in the lounge on Friday nights.
I’d push the sofa up against the door so the kids couldn’t surprise us if they woke up.
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Now I’m missing my flings so much — and when I have sex with my husband, it is so dull and predictable.
Please help. I would like to get things back on track with my marriage.
DEIDRE SAYS: You are playing a risky game with your marriage and family life.
You say your flings are just a bit of fun but your husband, children and extended family won’t see it that way.
There are plenty of better ways to fill your time and make worth-while connections with people that don’t involve such destructive behaviour.
Your husband no doubt opted to work nights in order to bring in as much money as possible. I expect he would prefer to work during the day.
Use this lockdown to focus on your family. You will all need to pull together to get through the tough weeks ahead.
Talk to your husband about how lonely you are and let him know you have been missing him.
Would you both consider taking a cut in his pay so you can have more time together as a couple and family?
I’m sending you my support packs How To Look After Your Relationship and 50 Ways To Add Fun To Sex, which will help you and your husband freshen up your sex life.
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