BLUE star Lee Ryan has emotionally revealed he was left traumatised as a child after watching a friend’s father shoot himself in the head – and later became convinced he would die aged 27.
The One Love singer, now aged 37, said he sees the life-changing incident as one of the reasons he went off the rails after finding fame in the band, which led to him going to rehab twice for drink and drugs.
At his worst, he “didn’t give a f***” about being alive and thought he was going to join the “27 Club” – a group of stars including Kurt Cobain and Amy Winehouse who died aged 27.
Speaking about the incident outside his home in Plumstead, south-east London, Lee said: “I remember watching a film and I heard, ‘Bang, bang,’ I was like, ‘What the f**k is that?’
“I actually looked outside and I saw my friend lying on the floor holding her shoulder and her dad walked out with a sawn-off shotgun.
“He walked out into the middle of the road, stuck it to her head and went to shoot it but he’d already done two shots, so he went back inside, re-loaded, and she got up and ran off.
“Then he turned around and he put the gun to his head and blew his brains out. I saw his head explode.”
Addressing the impact it had on him afterwards, he continued: “It affected me, really badly. There was a woman who got murdered in my block of flats, she got cut up with her kid. It was rough round those ways.
“I think growing up I had a lot of things to deal with that I’d seen and then I got famous. It’s not a good mix.”
Despite Blue’s success, including three No1 singles, he struggled with alcohol and drug abuse as the trappings of fame took hold, having joined the band when he was just 17.
Speaking on the Family Business podcast, he said: “I was like, I’ve got loads of money in the bank, I’m in the biggest boy band in the country and I honestly thought I might die young.
“I honestly thought I might join the 27 club and I didn’t give a f**k, I thought it would be a good way to go out.
“That’s why I just acted like a nutjob. I did crazy things, I was trying to be the most crazy rock‘n’roller I could ever be … I just didn’t care.
“I just thought, ‘You know what? This isn’t going to last forever.’ The first car I bought was a 911 Porsche, I had that James Dean idea of living fast and dying young and being rock‘n’roll.
“It must have been tough for the Blue boys, they were more sensible than me.”
Lee is now planning a comeback tour with Blue, who will celebrate the 20th anniversary of their debut album All Rise in November.
Duncan, who was in the group with Lee, Simon Webbe and Antony Costa, said:
“We were wanting to do something for our 20th anniversary but at the moment lockdown has meant it’s been difficult to get together. It’s not been easy.
“There could be something in the pipeline as we’re really good mates.”
