DEAR DEIDRE: I AM a swimming coach and have been having sex with one of the girls I train. She is 17 and I am 39 but I can’t stop thinking about her. Her mother is very driven to see her daughter succeed as she swam at county level when she was in her teens. […]
DEAR DEIDRE: I AM a swimming coach and have been having sex with one of the girls I train.
She is 17 and I am 39 but I can’t stop thinking about her.
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Her mother is very driven to see her daughter succeed as she swam at county level when she was in her teens.
Just over a year ago she asked whether I could give her daughter extra private lessons.
She would stay behind after coaching and we’d do extra time-trials.
That all stopped when Covid arrived. When lockdown eased the girl texted, asking if I would give her some training at a friend’s private pool.
It was a strictly professional relationship at first but she is a lovely girl with an incredible body and I realised I was feeling very drawn to her.
One afternoon, I heard her crying in the pool changing room so I went in. I put my arms round her and asked what was wrong.
She said she was worried she was never going to be good enough.
I hugged her and that turned into a kiss. I pulled back but the next session she snuggled up to me and said the owners of the pool were out.
We ended up having sex and that happened a couple more times.
Then the new lockdown arrived but I can’t wait to “coach” her again. I’m infatuated with her.
DEIDRE SAYS: You are breaching your duty of care and, as you have been coaching this girl for some time, it would be viewed as grooming.
You could find yourself in serious trouble.
Tell her you have made a mistake and this relationship ends now.
Be firm she must find a new swimming coach.
If you struggle to make the break, find support from Stop It Now (stopitnow.org.uk, 0808 1000 900).
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