DEAR DEIDRE: MY partner’s online porn habit nearly ended our relationship last year but I gave him a second chance. Now I discover he has secretly been looking at porn again.
I am 48 and he is 50. We’ve both been unhappily married before. I was helping him with some computer stuff last year and found he had been visiting porn sites. I was horrified and said we were over but he pleaded with me.
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He says he has never been so happy as with me.
Our sex life is adventurous and I am uninhibited sexually. We even used to watch porn together but then agreed we no longer needed to enhance our sex life this way.
We have a great life, and my kids and grandkids like him, but he has destroyed my trust now. I no longer feel any love for him.
DEIDRE SAYS: You used to view porn together so it is mainly the secrecy and deception that upsets you. People often lie because they fear they will be judged if they admit the truth. Online porn is designed to be addictive.
It would be a pity to throw away a relationship that works on so many levels over this one issue.
My e-leaflet Looking After Your Relationship can help you rebuild trust.
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