DEAR DEIDRE: I NEVER thought I’d be the sort of person to have a fling with a married woman at work, and make love in the office when everyone else has gone home. But that is exactly what I am now doing.
I have been in my new job for eight months. I am 22 and I know they had a lot of applications, so I was lucky to get it.
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There is one colleague in particular who is drop-dead gorgeous. Unfortunately, she is married and her husband works for the same company, but in another building to us.
She is just coming up to 30. I sensed she was flirting with me almost right away. The way she looked at me and made any excuse to stand close made me realise that she was interested.
When I responded, her flirty behaviour became even more obvious.
I didn’t know she was married at first, so I made a move one evening when we were still working but most of the other staff had left.
I could not believe my luck when she responded and suggested we go into an empty side office.
The sex was thrilling. I had never experienced such feelings before, having just had one or two girlfriends.
I could not wait to do it again and apparently neither could she. We have since been having sex whenever we get the opportunity.
I have fallen deeply in love with her. She is all I think about, from when I wake up to the last thing at night. I dream about her as well.
It was a shock when she told me she’s married and I think to her it is just a fling.
I know I should talk to her about where this is all leading but I worry that she might back away if I do.
I also worry that our colleagues are beginning to notice. I really don’t want to lose her but I don’t want to lose my job either.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Maybe your lover’s marriage is empty and boring but she shows no signs of dumping him to get together with you.
The chances of being found out seem high. That means when the balloon goes up, you could lose both your job and your lover.
You can find a proper girlfriend to love and you can have just as much sexual pleasure with her.
But first you have to extricate yourself from this dodgy affair. Let this Christmas mark the break. It will give you a chance to summon up your willpower.
Tell your lover she is lovely and it’s been great but you have no future together and are both on a dangerous knife-edge.
When you get back to work, leave the office on time every day.
Improve your social life, get out there and meet young women who are free to have an open relationship with you.
