DEAR DEIDRE: I GAVE our babysitter a lift home when her car broke down and we ended up naked on the rug in front of her fire.
I have a loving wife and three children. I am 34, my wife is 28. Our children are boys of eight and six and a girl of four. We went to see my wife’s brother three weeks ago.
He has recently got a promotion at work and wanted to celebrate — but I didn’t drink because I was driving home.
A new babysitter came to look after the kids that evening.
We’d found her through an agency. She is 22, single and very attractive.
When she went to drive home, her car wouldn’t start so I offered her a lift.
Halfway there we got caught up in a long tailback of traffic caused by a bad accident.
I texted my wife and explained the situation and told her not to wait up for me because I didn’t know how long I would be.
It was a long, stressful journey and when we finally got to the babysitter’s home, she invited me in for a coffee.
We chatted for a while and she said how grateful she was because, even if her car had started, she would not have liked to do that journey on her own.
She put her arm round my shoulders and kissed my cheek.
I could not help myself and I turned to face her and started kissing her properly.
Next thing I knew we were both naked on the rug in front of the fire.
We had the most amazing sex and have been meeting secretly since then — and the sex is still fantastic.
Yesterday she said she needs to speak to me because she thinks she may be pregnant.
I have really fallen for her and I am thinking of leaving my wife for her. But I’m all over the place about what is the right thing to do when I’ve my other kids to think of.
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DEIDRE SAYS: Before you rush into making decisions, your babysitter needs to find out for sure whether she is pregnant and you need to see proof.
If she is, that doesn’t mean you two would necessarily work as a couple.
In truth, you hardly know one another.
You are in the grip of passion now but how would that survive a miserable wife, three unhappy children and a newborn?
Is she ready to cope with being a single parent?
My e-leaflet on Unplanned Pregnancy explains her options and where to find support.
If she decides to keep the baby, you would have a legal responsibility to pay maintenance and a moral responsibility to be an involved dad.
Of course, that would mean your wife would have to know.
But ask her to give your marriage a fair chance, for your children’s sake.
Maybe you two have been taking one another for granted but this should be a wake-up call.
