DEAR DEIDRE: MY stepdaughter has had a baby and my life has gone from bad to worse, with a crying child, the mess and the muddle.
I have never had any interest in fathering children. I am 42, my wife is 41 and her daughter is 20.
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Her daughter got a job working in a bar rather than take up the offer of a college course.
Then she got pregnant and buried her head in the sand until it was too late for a termination.
She decided to keep the child and my wife said she would support her, giving me no say in the matter.
Now my wife is doing all the hard work and her daughter does almost nothing around the house.
If I don’t do enough I get ticked off but it’s as though the daughter can do no wrong. My wife backs her up totally.
Meanwhile, I have to cope with the stress and disturbed nights because I can hear the two women getting up to see to the baby.
I don’t want my marriage to end but it seems I have no choice. I either put up with the chaos or walk out on my home and my wife.
DEIDRE SAYS: I understand how fed up you feel that you had no say in all this – and new babies are very disruptive – but the chaos won’t last for ever.
Treat this as an opportunity to see a new baby grow and develop into a little person without the worry and responsibility of being the father.
Help out when you can.
Just taking the baby for a walk in the buggy will give your wife and her daughter a welcome break.
The more involved you are, the less the baby will seem a mere irritation and the more your wife and daughter will treat your feelings with consideration too.
