DEAR DEIDRE: EVEN though I have been with my boyfriend for three years, we’ve never spent Christmas Day together.
My family want me to be at home with them, but I want to be able to go between them and my boyfriend’s family, and this is what he wants, too. I am 18, my boyfriend is 19.
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My family are fine with him coming to our house but they won’t let me go to his. My boyfriend says to just tell them what our plans are and be honest, but I am really struggling.
I don’t know what to say to him or my family. I feel like my family still treat me like a child.
DEIDRE SAYS: It’s not easy to break family patterns but best start now, one step at a time.
Take a deep breath and say, “This Christmas I’m doing something different”. You are an adult and can make your own choices. Maybe spend the morning at your home but then join your boyfriend at his.
Tell your parents you will always love them but don’t sound as if you’re asking permission.
