DEAR DEIDRE: I STRUGGLE talking to people and feel most relaxed on my own. I used to cover up my lack of social skills by drinking too much.
I don’t touch alcohol now but I’m fed up of living alone.
Finding love isn’t easy if you’re scared of rejection. I’m 33, not ugly, have a good job and drive a nice car, but I feel awkward with people I don’t know well.
I don’t have many friends and have been single for nearly ten years.
When it comes to socialising, I am a flat-out loser. I feel there is something wrong with me but I’m too embarrassed to talk to anyone about my awkwardness.
How can I boost my confidence? I am a decent and well-mannered man but that isn’t enough.
DEIDRE SAYS: Well done for knocking the drinking on the head. It is a false friend to the shy.
Lots of us feel awkward with people we don’t know well. The trick is to develop techniques for dealing with it.
Ask people about themselves, listen to what they tell you then ask some more. They’ll love it.
Look for interests that will attract both sexes and give you an immediate topic of conversation.
My e-leaflet Finding The Love Of Your Life will help.
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Send an email to problems@deardeidre.org. Every problem gets a personal reply, usually within 24 hours weekdays.
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