DEAR DEIDRE: IT’S always me who has to initiate sex with my fiancé and I’m beginning to feel I don’t want to bother. I’m a gay man of 29 and my fiancé is 33. We’re planning to get married next spring. When we started out together we would both initiate sex. It would happen randomly […]
DEAR DEIDRE: IT’S always me who has to initiate sex with my fiancé and I’m beginning to feel I don’t want to bother.
I’m a gay man of 29 and my fiancé is 33. We’re planning to get married next spring.
When we started out together we would both initiate sex. It would happen randomly and in any room. Now it’s only in the bedroom and only when I instigate it.
He never complains or stops me when I come on to him. The sex is always great and he gives it his all every time.
But I’m so fed up with being the one to initiate action that sometimes I don’t bother even when I want sex.
We’ve talked about it and he says he hears me, he just doesn’t do anything about it. I know he loves me and I love him, but is he attracted to me any more?
DEIDRE SAYS: Maybe you are the initiator in your relationship – of plans as well as sex. When you have sex you say it’s great, so be wary of turning this into too big an issue.
Tell your fiancé that you need regularly to hear just how much he loves and fancies you.
With that reassurance you shouldn’t feel the need to play sexually hard to get.
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