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Boris Johnson’s only hope is an election pact with Nigel Farage’s Brexit Party

I HOPE those 11 Supreme Court judges enjoyed their moment in the spotlight. They certainly seemed to. Grandstanding for the general public and denouncing the Prime Minister. Eleven of them. Remainers. Well-bred remainers, sure. But remainers. We are expected to go along with the ludicrous notion that this was not a political decision. It clearly […]

I HOPE those 11 Supreme Court judges enjoyed their moment in the spotlight. They certainly seemed to. Grandstanding for the general public and denouncing the Prime Minister.
Eleven of them. Remainers. Well-bred remainers, sure. But remainers.

Boris Johnson proroguing Parliament has ended up with him captive of the liberal establishment
Getty Images - Getty
Boris must reach out to friends like Nigel Farage’s Brexit Party
PA:Press Association

We are expected to go along with the ludicrous notion that this was not a political decision. It clearly was a political decision.

The Supreme Court should not be involving itself in political matters, but it jumped at the chance to do so. And it won’t stop there, believe me. Truth is, we shouldn’t even have a Supreme Court. It was another of Tony Blair’s very bad decisions.

Proroguing Parliament was also a bad decision in my book. There wasn’t much to be gained from it. And it left Boris Johnson open to precisely this kind of attack from the liberal establishment which wants to kill Brexit completely. The judges are part of that establishment.

But I can see why Boris did it. Parliament has failed, abysmally, to honour the 2016 referendum and respect the will of the people.

Every possible attempt to get Brexit through has fallen. By-passing Parliament was the last chance for Brexit, then — and that has fallen too. Parliament has proved itself beyond useless.

It is not remotely representative of the country. Facing Bojo on the opposition benches are an array of gibbering, self-serving weasels. Cowardly weasels. Weasels who were happy to mouth the words, “We must respect the view of the people . . . ”, but who have long since stopped doing so.

Cowardly because they are terrified of the proper outcome to all of this — an immediate general election.

BOJO’S A CAGED BEAST

What these awful people will do now is simply keep Boris prisoner. Vote against everything he proposes and thus cripple the Government. All for their own purposes.

The thing is, though, I think the great mass of people beyond Westminster have cottoned on to this.

They have seen that the Prime Minister did everything he possibly could — and is still trying — to get Brexit over the line. I’m not sure he has always played his hand terribly well. But at least he tried.

He showed genuine commitment.

And I think people get that. We all want this awful mess over with as soon as possible. Labour and the ludicrous Lib Dems are stopping that from happening. We will have a general election very soon. Most likely in November. And what Boris and his colleagues need to do is make sure they have a deal in place with Nigel Farage’s Brexit Party. Without it, they will lose the election.

HOLD THEIR NOSES

The Tories say there’s no chance of a deal. But they need to hold their noses and accept one. And for his part, Nigel Farage should give credit to Boris for at least trying, for all he was worth, to get Brexit over the line by October 31.

The Brexit Party have a full raft of candidates ready and waiting to do battle. But Farage should be moderate in what he demands from the Conservatives. The most likely scenario now is that the Brexit deadline is extended, with conditions placed upon us by a jubilant European Union. And a caretaker government which will be out to kill Brexit entirely.

Only a pact with the Brexit Party can get the Conservatives — and the country as a whole — out of this mess.

Reach out to your friends, Boris, while you still have them.

BoJo's 'one-eyed snake will do for him'

IT won’t be the Supreme Court judges, the Queen, or Jeremy Corbyn, or John Bercow who does for Boris Johnson in the end.

It will be his one-eyed trouser snake. His old fella. Boris has a very mischievous todger which seems to spend an awful lot of time pogoing around London poking its way into all kinds of places.

Fair enough – fill yer boots, BoJo. But the latest revelation, from The Sunday Times, that Boris may have sent public money the way of a pouting blonde moppet who he regularly, er, “visited” looks a bit dubious to me. The blonde moppet says Boris dropped around only to talk about technological issues.

Um, right.

I have the horrible feeling this story will not go away. And if it is proven that Boris favoured this woman with contracts, he will be done for. Someone staple his flies shut.

Corbyn is back of class

SO – Labour is to demolish all private schools, machine gun the pupils and string the teachers up from lampposts.

All the land will be made into housing estates for refugees. Or something.

One rule for Corbyn’s cronies – who send their kids to private school – one rule for you scumbags out there
AFP or licensors

Truth be told, I see nothing wrong with removing the charitable status from private schools. They’re not charities, after all.

And I wish we could do something to stop private school pupils taking the best jobs everywhere (such as, er, leader of the Labour Party).

Private school-educated people make up only seven per cent of the population, and yet seem to run everything.

But I wonder how this war against private education sits with some of Jeremy Corbyn’s colleagues? Such as the ghastly Shami Chakrabarti, who sends her child to one of the most expensive schools in the country? Or Diane Abbott, who also sent her kid private.

One rule for them, you see, one rule for you scumbags out there, the voters.

Food for thought

SAINSBURY’S has just announced it’s going to cut out loads of plastic packaging. Especially tat which wraps flowers. The sort of flowers you buy at the last second because you forgot it was your wedding anniversary.

All the supermarkets are binning plastic packaging right now.

Most people think it’s a good thing – and maybe it is. But how long before we discover that getting rid of some packaging is MORE harmful to the environment than keeping it? One of the big problems we have is the amount of food we throw away. How much more food will be binned if it isn’t sealed from the air by plastic?

It’s a bit rich of Harry

PRINCE Harry has been explaining how he finds it difficult to get out of bed on a morning due to his worries about the state of the world.

I really don’t know what’s wrong with this bloke.

I don’t know what’s wrong with Prince Harry any more…
Getty - Contributor

Listen, Harry. Many, many people find it hard to get out of bed in the morning because they don’t know where the next meal is going to come from. Or because they’re about to slave all day for a pittance at a back-breaking job which they hate.

Can I suggest it’s a bit easier to get out of bed in the morning when your flunkey’s just brought you a nice boiled egg while another flunkey is getting your private plane ready for take-off?

You are an immensely rich, immensely privileged, white male. And this constant emoting and whining is beginning to get a lot of people down.

It’s good you worry about the world, sure. We all do. But if I were you I’d worry more directly about preserving our Royal Family, of which you are an important part.

Haka'd enough

THE Irish have had enough of the Haka. That’s the stupid dance performed by the New Zealand All Blacks before each game of rugby. Now an Irish journo has suggested that it should be banned.

Ewan MacKenna says it gives the kiwis an “unfair advantage”. Aw, give it a rest. It just makes them look silly. If the Irish are worried they could come up with their own dance – lots of fiddles, riverdancing and “too-ra-loo-ra-li” kind of thing.

Wedding games

STILL wondering what to buy Jennifer Lawrence for her wedding present.

The Hunger Games star may be worth £100million but hell, all Hollywood brides like a nice gift when they’re getting married for a year or two.

Jennifer Lawrence’s wedding gift list includes a ‘gravity blanket’ – is it to stop her flying into space in her sleep?
The Mega Agency

Luckily, Jen has drawn up a gift list. It includes wine glasses, a food blender and a cork yoga mat.

And also something called a “gravity blanket”, which presumably stops her flying off into space when she’s meant to be asleep.

Shall we have a whip round? Nah? Oh, OK.

Water rip-off

GOT our latest water bill. It says our six-month charge this time is £1,970. It’s usually about one tenth of that amount.

So I ring them up, waiting on the phone, listening to some God-awful soft rock. I get through to a lass and explain the problem.

OK, she says, no worries. We’ll just charge you the usual amount.

So where did the £1,970 come from? Did they just make it up, like the EU made up our withdrawal bill?

“It’s Liddle’s bill – shall we shove on a thousand or so? That’ll frighten the bugger.”

And how many people have been overcharged and never thought to ring up and query the amount?

It’s one of the few things old man Steptoe – Jeremy Corbyn to you – is right about.

Nationalise the utilities.

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