DEAR DEIDRE: I LOVE my girlfriend to bits but I cannot get over her having sex with the guy who is now my daughter’s stepfather.
We have been together for two years. She is 31 and her five-year-old son lives with us. I am 33. My three-year-old daughter lives with my ex and her new husband but spends alternate weekends with us.
My girlfriend and I were talking about our younger days recently and she admitted for the first time that when they were in their teens she had a few flings with my ex’s husband.
I know it was long before we met but I am finding it really weird.
I do not know how to shake off these feelings but I am afraid to talk to her about it, in case she laughs at me.
DEIDRE SAYS: You cannot change her past but remember that her past helped to make her the person you fell in love with and who loves you. Just trying to squash your feelings is unlikely to work, though. Your girlfriend may not realise how insecure you feel, so tell her.
That will give her the chance to reassure you. Then you can both focus on what you share now and avoid spoiling it.
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