GREGGS gave a hilarious response to a fan who penned an amazing Nothing Compares 2 U spoof mourning an axed favourite bake last week.
A genius within customer services rose to the occasion and replied with a personalised version of Take That’s Want You Back, announcing the classic steak and cheese roll would return.
Martin Forey, 49, from Westcliff, Essex, was delighted to get a clever reply after filing a tongue-in-cheek complaint detailing the devastated when his local branch wasn’t serving up his preferred snack.
He and a pal had tried two bakeries as they searched for the post-gym protein hit they’ve come to know and love every Saturday – but had to make do with sausage rolls.
Still keen to track one down, the author ducked into a different bakery the following day, August 11, and was heartbroken to hear his favourite had been discontinued.
Days later, still missing what Greggs describes as “our sausage roll’s older, wiser, more mysterious cousin”, he decided to put his feelings into song.
He told the Sun Online: “I thought I would contact them as I know that Greggs had a bit of a sense of humour on social media.
“It’s quite applicable – nothing compares to a steak and cheese roll.
“When we went in and ended up having a sausage roll and were walking down the high street and I said ‘nothing compares’.
“I was lying in bed and I’ve always got ideas rolling round in my head, and I have a pad of paper there.
(Back for Good)
I guess now it’s time, for Greggs to own up.
We’ve had to rest our Steak and Cheese rolls, it’s tearing us up.
It’s fillin’ us with pure emotion, that our rolls of Steak and Cheese
We’ve had to leave them, we’ve had to leave them all behind now.
(Chorus)
Whatever we said whatever we did we didn’t mean it
We’re gonna bring them back for good.
Bring them back, bring them back,
Bring them back for good.
Whenever we’re wrong just send us a song and we’ll do it
We’re gonna bring them back for good.
Bring them back, bring them back
Bring them back for good.
So sit back and listen good… I’m gonna tell you a Story…….I’m gonna tell you a story
We didn’t mean to break your heart now, Martin Forey.
We’re gonna bring our steak and cheese back…. I swear you must believe.
Not gonna leave them, not gonna leave them all behind now.
(CHORUS)
Whatever we said, whatever we did, we didn’t mean it.
We’re gonna bring them back for good.
Bring them back, bring them back
Bring them back for good.
Whenever we’re wrong, just send us a song and we’ll do it
We’re gonna bring them back for good.
Bring them back, bring them back.
Bring them back for good.
Then you’ll be together, this time it’s forever
Won’t stop steak and cheese rolls, there’ll be no more plans.
So our steak and cheese rolls…….will always be in your haaaaaaannnds.
I guess now it’s time, they came back for good.
“I got up in the morning when my creative brains quite active and I want on the computer and started putting it together.
The mournful ballad – initially made famous by Sinead O’Connor – was tweaked to open with: “It’s been several hours and a few days.
“Since you took your rolls away.
“I went in for a bite on Saturday. But you’d taken them away.”
Following Mr Foley’s raw and emotional email last Thursday, he got a reply from Greggs customer services, also in song.
PR “James” managed to gamely respond with an amended version of Take That’s classic, Back For Good.
He both apologised for Mr Foley’s heartbreak, and announced the rolls would be coming back to stores after a rethink.
He wrote: “I guess now it’s time, for Greggs to own up.
“We’ve had to rest our Steak and Cheese rolls, it’s tearing us up.
“It’s fillin’ us with pure emotion, that our rolls of Steak and Cheese. We’ve had to leave them, we’ve had to leave them all behind now.
“Whatever we said whatever we did we didn’t mean it.
“We’re gonna bring them back for good.”
It’s been several hours and a few days
Since you took your rolls away
I went in for a bite on Saturday
But you’d taken them away
Since you’ve been gone I can eat whatever I want
I can eat whatever I choose
I could get my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing
I said nothing can take away these blues
‘Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
I’ve been so hungry without you here
Like a bird without a worm
Nothing can stop these hungry tears from falling
Tell me pastry
When will you return?
I could put my chops around every Cornish pasty
But they’d only remind me of you
I went to McDonalds and guess what they told me?
Guess what they told me?
They said boy have one of our cheeseburger buns
And that’ll have to do, but they’re just fools
‘Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
All the pastries that you cook, yummy
On the back bar
All died when you went away
I know that overcooking maybe
Could make them hard
But I always found you fine
‘Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Mr Foley added: “Prince probably had Sinead O’Connor in mind rather than me writing about Greggs!
“I spent a little bit of time looking at the song, the actual lyrics, and modifying them to fit my purpose.
“I thought they might find it amusing.
“People are quick to complain about poor customers services and I thought ‘credit where it’s due’.
“I’m a keen writer and just spent the last three month writing a screen play and this has had a far bigger response so far.”
Earlier this year Greggs planned to introduce a dinner time meal deal and push back opening hours to keep serving baked goods for longer.
And last week we told how the chain was ridiculed for halving the size of its custard slices to help Brits eat less sugar — while keeping the price at £1.
Outraged fans have complained to the bakery chain, demanding the original is reinstated. Perhaps they should try penning a song too…
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