DEAR DEIDRE: WHILE my dad was seriously ill and needed help before he died, I was coping with a new baby. I feel so guilty for letting him down.
I am 25. My father had all kinds of awful symptoms. He was an alcoholic and the worse his illness got, the more he drank.
He became very depressed, sitting in his dressing gown all day and refusing to eat. I knew it wouldn’t be long before he gave up completely.
But all I could think about was my pregnancy. Now I feel angry his doctor did not do more and that I did not take more care of him.
DEIDRE SAYS: You are not to blame.
Expectant and new mothers are programmed to focus their energy on the baby, whose needs must come first. Alcoholism is a grim disease but chances are he would have taken little notice of any efforts you made.
I expect his doctor tried to help.
You must have suffered as a result of his drinking when you were younger.
Find understanding through the National Association for the Children of Alcoholics (nacoa.org.uk, 0800 358 3456).
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