“AS I stood with my friend in the local supermarket, looking at all the gorgeous baby clothes, I felt so happy.
“I’d just left my latest midwife appointment appointment and was relieved to know that my baby was safe and well.
“I was contemplating buying a particularly cute babygrow when I became aware of a woman standing beside me and smiled at her, before she asked me how far along I was.
“When I told her that I was 25 weeks, she looked me up and down and said with a sneer: ‘Are you sure, where’s your bump then?’
“I was so shocked and could feel tears pricking the back of my eyes so quickly walked away with my friend, who was surprised that a total stranger had been so rude.”
This is just one example of cruel bump shaming Kaylie Cooper, 33, from Ware, Hertfordshire, has endured during her pregnancy.
The dementia support-worker has tolerated sly looks, cruel remarks and general nastiness for months – just because, according to strangers, her bump isn’t big enough.
Now, six months pregnant, Kaylie spoke exclusively to Fabulous Digital about the bump shaming, and how it’s made her dread leaving the house…
My husband Ben, who’s a bricklayer, and I were over the moon to discover we were pregnant in September last year.
I had a miscarriage in June and couldn’t believe how lucky I was to fall pregnant again.
I was a nervous wreck until I had the 12-week scan, because of the previous loss.
It wasn’t an easy pregnancy. I suffered from hyperemesis gravidarum (HG), which meant I was sick up to five times a day.
I wonder if it’s jealousy because I’ve managed to stay so slim. But I just wish people would mind their own business
Kaylie Cooper, 33
Until I was ten weeks I was sick every time I ate. I quickly lost a stone in weight as I couldn’t keep anything down.
In the end I had to have anti-sickness tablets, which did help. I’ve since regained that weight and a bit more.
But I realise that from behind I don’t look pregnant. I’ve got a very neat bump – and that’s clearly a problem for some people.
I’m still a size ten and, apart from my bump, I haven’t put on any other weight.
I wonder if it’s jealousy because I’ve managed to stay so slim. But I just wish people would mind their own business.
I wouldn’t ever comment on another woman’s figure, it’s not a nice thing to do.
Even when I explain how sick I’ve been I don’t get any sympathy – the general feeling is that every woman experiences sickness during pregnancy, which isn’t quite true.
I’ve been amazed that my bump has been so controversial and I feel sad that women feel the need to criticise each other, when we should be doing the opposite.
My friends and family think I look great, but I’m shocked by the comments I’ve received from total strangers.
We’ve all heard of morning sickness – which 70% of women experience sickness during pregnancy, not just in the mornings.
For most mums-to-be, this will clear up by week 14.
Some women experience extreme nausea and vomiting – known as hyperemesis gravidarum.
In extreme cases, women cannot keep any food or drink down and may need to be hospitalised.
It affects around 1% of women and some women report being sick as many as 50 times a day.
Unlike standard morning sickness, this often continues to the 20-week mark, and can continue until the baby is born for some poor mums.
Every time I’m out on my own, I get asked how many weeks I am. And when I answer, I get told that I must have my dates wrong, or that I’m far too small and should be bigger.
I became so paranoid that I made my midwife double check my measurements just to be sure that everything was OK.
The midwife reassured me that my bump is the right size and that the baby is safe and well.
She told me to carry on exactly as I am and not to listen to other people.
Ben agrees with her and tells me to ignore people’s comments, but it is difficult.
When you’re pregnant you’re more sensitive – and people don’t seem to realise the huge impact that their comments have had on me.
I’ve been through a lot already with losing one baby and being so poorly with this one and the last thing I need to hear is judgemental remarks.
Even if I’m walking down the road, I’m aware of people looking at me and trying to work out how far gone I am. Who actually does that to a pregnant woman?
I feel as though I have to justify my size and end up telling people I haven’t even met about how poorly I’ve been. I shouldn’t have to do that and it’s embarrassing, and upsetting.
If there aren’t enough chairs in the waiting room, I feel as though I should give my seat up because I don’t look hugely pregnant – even though I’m probably further on than the other women
Kaylie Cooper
Women are definitely the worst, which has surprised me. It’s got to the point where I dread going to the doctors as I know somebody will ask me how far along I am, only to tell me that I look too small.
If there aren’t enough chairs in the waiting room, I feel as though I should give my seat up because I don’t look hugely pregnant – even though I’m probably further on than the other women.
I felt so low I didn’t want to leave the house but my skin is so tight and uncomfortable already – I’m glad I’m not carrying a huge amount of extra weight.
In more real life news, this furious model hit back after she was mum-shamed for her barely visible five month baby bump.
