Cher Wants Better for Kristen Bell
The often-bizarre nature of Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard’s marriage is, truly, none of my business, and yet they keep making it very difficult to ignore. Perhaps you remember earlier this year when Bell shared an anniversary post in which she quoted her husband as saying, “Even though I’m heavily incentivized to kill you, I never would.” Or maybe you heard her on a podcast talking about the time she asked him to fold the laundry, which led to a fight where they both “blacked out” and didn’t speak for three days. If you hear these stories and think, Hmmm, seems weird, you are not the only one. Cher seems to agree.
Cher appeared on Shepard’s Armchair Expert podcast on Monday and was joined by Bell, whom she’s known since they starred in Burlesque together in 2010. About halfway through the episode, Cher gestured to Bell and told Shepard that she is “definitely the better half.” He nodded, while Bell said, “I don’t know about that.” The conversation quickly moved on, but Shepard decided to circle back.
“Who would you like to see Kristen with?” he asked Cher, prompting a laugh from Bell. “Who would be your dream partner for her, because I know you think she could do better and I don’t disagree. Who would be your pick?”
Bell and Cher both seemed taken aback by how seriously Shepard was asking the question, and Cher carefully deflected. “I don’t know,” she said. Shepard offered up Brad Pitt as an answer, while Bell assured the singer that her husband was “being self-deprecating.” This would have been an amazing moment for the conversation to end, but Shepard kept pushing.
“I just want to know who she thinks your dream catch would be,” Shepard told Bell. “There’s some people I have who I think are good.” After Bell and Cher both agreed that Cher has never even thought about that, Shepard continued to needle, insisting Cher is “just not sold yet on me.”
After even more self-deprecation from Shepard, Cher made a final attempt to wrap things up. “The truth is, I trust her,” Cher said, gesturing to Bell. “So you must have something that I don’t see.” Everybody laughed, and it seemed that Cher had finally brought this excruciating conversation to its natural conclusion. Wrong! Shepard had one more thing to say.
“I’ll tell you the thing you should like about me,” he told Cher. “I’m not threatened by her shining. I love it. The shinier she gets, the better.” Fine. That’s nice. Maybe his love of her shine is the thing that Cher wasn’t seeing. Based solely on this conversation, it was a little difficult to make out.
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