Tiler Peck Is a Prima Ballerina With a Penchant for Over-Gifting
A few weeks ago, Tiler Peck had a rare look at herself outside a rehearsal-studio mirror. Suspending Time, a PBS documentary on the longtime New York City Ballet principal, had its premiere after a six-year shoot, and while it was nerve-racking to watch herself from the audience, the experience revealed some precious moments. Peck had no way of knowing, for example, that the film would capture what would become a final encounter with her father, or scenes with fellow dancer Roman Mejia — long before she thought she’d date, let alone marry, him.
“I also didn’t necessarily think it was the right fit to have a director who didn’t come from a dance background,” Peck tells The Cut. “Now, I’m so happy because you really get to know me as a person, and dance is almost the secondary story.”
This year has been big for Peck and about letting people in: The 36-year-old programmed a Jerome Robbins festival at the Joyce Theater, starred in the streaming series Étoile, and has been busy developing Little Star, a new musical from the creators of Ragtime. And earlier this fall, Penguin Random House published XO Ballerina Big Sis, her sweetly illustrated how-to guide for dancers on the come-up (and those around them).
“I’m lucky to have come from a dance family and have a big sister I could look up to,” she says. “It must be so stressful for people to walk into their first class and stand next to somebody who does come from a dance family and has it all together. You get put into dance so young; how are you supposed to know how to sew a pointe shoe or know if it’s okay to talk in class? I thought, If I can be that person to them that helps them navigate it all, that would be so rewarding.”
Ahead of Peck’s December 3 performance in Balanchine’s The Nutcracker at NYCB (her 21st year dancing the iconic ballet), the ballerina discusses how to give and receive advice, dating in the workplace, and why she’s proudly anti-ChatGPT.
You’ve been dancing in The Nutcracker for so long, how do you keep each performance feeling special?
The Nutcracker is one of my favorite things to dance. I’ve been in it for 21 years, so it’s kind of hard to still say that, but it’s true. It’s the thing I saw that made me want to be a ballerina. I knew I wanted to dance, but I never knew I wanted to do ballet, or be in the New York City Ballet, until I was 11 and my dad got us tickets to see it here. That was a moment that changed my life. The fact that I now get to be that person that is maybe changing other little kids in the audiences’ lives is still a pinch-me moment, so I don’t take it for granted at all.
When you do the “Dance of the Sugar Plum Fairy,” you have the angels who are these little kids looking up at you, hoping to be you one day. Each year, I get a little more warm with my approach. You grow in the role. And Christmas is my favorite time of the year, so I don’t feel like it’s the holiday season without our Nutcracker.
Do you have a No. 1 rule for gift-giving?
I love to over-gift. It brings me so much joy to see whoever I’m gifting be really happy. I always go a little overboard, but to me, during the holidays, it’s totally fine.
What’s your No. 1 rule for giving advice?
I love getting advice, so that’s why I think I like giving it. I am a very receptive person. If you have something to say, you should say it. You can speak from your own personal experiences. It doesn’t mean it’s going to work for the person you’re giving the advice to, but at least then they’ll have it to pull from, if they want.
What’s the best way to receive advice?
Stay open to it. I hate when people start explaining why they do something when they’re getting advice. I think people should just take it, absorb it, and then reflect on whether you think it’s for you or not. You don’t need to talk back while somebody’s giving you advice. The moment you start immediately speaking back, you’re not really receiving the advice.
If someone is not being receptive to advice, how do you let them go on their journey for a little bit?
That’s their decision and — what’s the word I’m looking for? — their loss. You know what I mean? You can’t waste your time on somebody that doesn’t want to receive the information. If they don’t want to receive it, that’s only going to hurt them. So I always say to invest in your time and your energy into what’s going to make you your best version of yourself. Surround yourself with people that are going to challenge you but also uplift you.
What’s your No. 1 rule for canceling plans?
I don’t like canceling plans. If you’re committing to something, stick it through.
No. 1 ballet rule?
Don’t perform with loud pointe shoes. I hate that, when they’re onstage and they sound so loud. It’s something I talk about in my book: exactly how to bang your pointe shoes. If you don’t dance and I were to tell you to bang your pointe shoes, you would have no idea what I mean. A lot of kids, I think, don’t even know how to do that. There are little tips like that throughout the book that I hope are going to be really helpful.
Do you have any restrictions for yourself with your phone?
After 9:30 or ten o’clock, my husband and I try not to be on our phones, on the couch, when we can be spending time together. Unless it’s an important work thing, I do not like to be one of those couples that’s sitting across from the table from their significant other on the phone. That makes no sense to me.
What is your No. 1 rule for dating?
Follow through. There’s something sexy and cool about saying something and then doing it, for a guy.
I think I can tell what you’re gonna say, but do you think it’s okay to ghost after one date?
I don’t think ghosting is ever good. Might as well just say, ‘Hey, I had a nice time meeting you, but I’m not sure it’s gonna work,’ or whatever it is. I just don’t understand what ghosting does for anyone. That’s kind of mean.
Do you have any tips on dating someone in your own industry?
Yeah, I mean, I should, right? I married one. I’ve had a few that were in the same line of work as me, and I said, Oh, I’ll never do that. But I think the reason why Roman and I work is because we were dance partners long before we were romantic. We had already established that work relationship before there was anything else. We already had that partnership in the studio. That is really important.
Do you have a No. 1 rule while texting?
Before you could edit texts, if I spelled something wrong, I would always put an asterisk and redo it. I’m not a grammar queen, but if there’s something wrong I’m like, Oof. I’d never want someone to think that of me. I try to text the way I would write. Now, we get so used to the computer doing everything for us, so I try to use my schooling in my texts as well.
How do you sign off emails?
I do xx and then write my name. Every time. I get pleasure out of emails now, when I do them myself and they sound really good and I didn’t have to use ChatGPT. I’ve never used it before. I can just do that in my head, old-fashioned, and I pride myself in that.
What’s your No. 1 rule for posting on social media?
Everything that I post is something my grandmother would be proud of. That’s kind of how I am as a person, in general, so it’s not a big stretch for me to say that. I feel like my following is a younger audience, so that kind of goes with that too. I take that I’m a role model really seriously.
What’s your No. 1 rule for meeting celebrities?
I’m so shy. I’ll be the first person to just stand there and not even say “hi,” even to celebrities that I’ve met a few times. I never want to overstay my welcome, so I always keep conversations really short — almost too short. I think it’s because I don’t like when people do that when they’re talking to me; when the conversation’s finished but they keep going, and you’re like, Wow, they’re really not reading any of the cues.
How are you as a gift receiver? Do you send your husband links and hope he gets the point?
No, I love to be surprised. I’m not sure if I’m good at hiding my reactions; my face kind of shows everything. I normally love everything he gives, but if some people give me a gift and I don’t like it, they might be able to tell.
Do you tell them in a sweet way or just sort of let them think what they might?
When I was younger, I’d just pretend I liked it. Now, if my mom gets me something, I’ll be like, Oh, I like it, but I think we could go back and get something that I like more. I don’t want people to waste money on something that I’m not going to really use.
Related