“What is she thinking?” is the eternal question when it comes to Melania Trump (and photos of smiling beluga whales). After reading the book Melania cover to cover, I am no closer to answering it.
The former First Lady’s memoir is full of unresolved contradictions. In her first promotional video, she describes writing the book as “deeply personal,” yet much of it feels generic. She says she felt a responsibility to “clarify the facts,” but a lot of important information is missing. The book dropped a month before Election Day but doesn’t seem aimed at helping or sabotaging Donald Trump’s reelection campaign. Melania tells too much to be a low-effort cash grab but too little to give real insight into this enigmatic White House occupant.
Here are the highs and lows from Melania, one of the most perplexing post–White House memoirs ever produced.
High: It’s an actual memoir, not a picture book.
Since leaving the White House, Donald Trump has released three coffee-table books, each consisting of 300-plus full-page photos and a smattering of rude captions. The initial press release about Melania said various editions of would feature “48 pages of never before seen photographs” or “256 pages in full color throughout,” so it seemed possible that the former First Lady was putting out her own glossy burn book.
But surprisingly, Melania feels like a real, you know, go-to-the-bookstore memoir, to paraphrase Harry Styles. The basic edition is formatted like Michelle Obama’s Becoming — with an extra-thick photo section in the middle — though Melania’s literary effort is far less impressive for other reasons.
Low: It reads like a generic college-application essay.
The promo videos for this book were kooky and confusing but seemed authentically “Melania.” The former First Lady feels far less present in the actual memoir. The first third describes her upbringing in Communist Slovenia and her early modeling career in Europe but provides little real insight into who Melania is and how these events shaped her. Instead, we get bland and repetitive passages such as:
As a child, I demonstrated a strong sense of organization, orderliness, and methodical approach in all my projects. I possessed a keen curiosity and diligent work ethic. I had a genuine passion for learning and delved into subjects ranging from art and history to geography. My fascination with different cultures and distant lands led me to pick up phrases in various languages during family travels, including German, Italian, and even Russian, which I studied in school for a period of time.
As a hard worker, I was always striving for the best. I understood from a young age that studying and learning were the keys to success, and I took great pride in consistently earning good grades …
Overall, my childhood experiences shaped me into a disciplined, ambitious individual who values hard work, dedication, and self-awareness. I continue to approach tasks with a methodical mindset, striving for excellence in all that I do.
At one point, a 22-year-old Melania must choose between pursuing a career in modeling or staying in her prestigious architecture program. She states, “Leaving behind my family and the architecture and design school I had worked hard to be a part of was a significant step, but I was ready for the challenge.” We never find out how or why she made this life-altering decision.
High: The book is quite short.
If you have a short attention span, or are required to read Melania because you are a journalist who mainly covers the Trump family’s weird antics, I have good news: It’s a quick read. I was able to finish it in under three hours as it is only 182 pages with wide margins.
Low: There’s too much filler.
This is not a quality-over-quantity situation. The book is quite short and a lot of those 182 pages feels unnecessary. Melania includes lengthy quotes from several famous speeches of Donald Trump as well as the full text of her eulogy at her mother’s funeral, her speech at a recent naturalization ceremony, and the letter she released after her husband was shot in an assassination attempt in Pennsylvania.
Toward the end of the book are full chapters that could have been pulled from any First Lady’s memoir, like recollections of her travels, White House renovations, and holiday preparations. For example, Christmas was a famously fraught topic for Melania, but this is basically all she has to say about it:
Every year, I would begin planning for Christmas, a very special holiday to me, in early July. It was a lot to oversee and I ensured that every detail was meticulously coordinated …
The following day, we opened the White House to the public and hosted several gatherings. Donald and I addressed the visitors and took photos with military, Secret Service, residence staff families, and officials from the cabinet and government.
High: Melania shares some political views.
The book isn’t totally bland and substance free. She addresses some — but by no means all — of her famous controversies, such as the “I Really Don’t Care, Do U?” jacket (she claims it was aimed at the press) and the time she swatted her husband’s hand away (supposedly, she was signaling that he should walk next to Benjamin Netanyahu, not her, as “protocol demanded”).
In the final chapters, she drops some random political takes, revealing herself to be a supporter of abortion rights, a 2020 election denier, and an opponent of the violence on January 6, 2021. (She claims she would have denounced the Capitol Riot at the time, but she was so busy with her “archival work” that she didn’t realize it was happening.)
Low: Her political takes make no sense.
Melania takes some contradictory political stances and makes no attempt to resolve them. For example, she spends three paragraphs explaining why she’s against “male-born athletes” competing in women’s sports, then declares:
As many of you know, I fully support the LGBTQIA+ community. But we must also ensure that our female athletes are protected and respected.
She doesn’t offer any ideas for how to protect the rights of both trans and cisgender female athletes.
Later, she says, “A woman’s fundamental right of individual liberty, to her own life, grants her the authority to terminate her pregnancy if she wishes.” The statement sounds unequivocally pro-choice, but she goes on to say:
There are several legitimate reasons for a woman to choose to have an abortion. For instance, if her life is at risk, rape, a congenital birth defect, plus severe medical conditions.
It’s unclear whether Melania thinks there are illegitimate reasons to choose abortion, or what she makes of her husband and party drastically curtailing reproductive rights.
High: The insults are subtle and classy.
Melania’s primary target throughout the book is the media. At one point, she asserts, “Today, most journalists believe that their primary purpose is to create a narrative rather than report the facts.”
That’s quite the generalization, but it’s nothing compared to the nastiness throughout Donald Trump’s books, in which he casually accuses Alec Baldwin of murder, calls Nancy Pelosi “F…ing CRAZY,” and suggests Justin Trudeau is Fidel Castro’s love child.
By contrast, this is Melania’s spiciest jab at her fellow celebrities: “It is ironic that my business acumen is criticized, while other former government officials receive praise for similar endeavors, such as securing multimillion-dollar media deals.” She’s clearly talking about the Obamas’ Netflix deal, but she never names them.
Low: Some insults may be too subtle.
Melania never explicitly says anything negative about Barack and Michelle Obama. She describes the former First Lady as “generous with her advice” and says their initial meeting was “cordial and pleasant.” But weirdly, this is how her predecessor is first referred to in the book, as Melania discusses her plagiarism scandal:
During my review of many speeches of previous First Ladies, Michelle’s emphasis on the fundamental values of hard work, integrity, and kindness resonated deeply …
Did she intentionally omit “Michelle’s” last name as a dig, or was this a typo? Unclear!
High: The book is beautiful.
The book is sleek and stylish, with an all-black jacket and the title in white with no other words on the cover or spine. You get the sense that a lot of thought went into its appearance, if not its contents.
Low: It won’t stay beautiful for long.
One day after I purchased Melania, this is what the cover looks like. No, I was not eating potato chips while reading. That matte, all-black cover is just a fingerprint magnet.
High: The book is endorsed by Donald J. Trump.
The only text on the jacket, aside from the title, is this endorsement from the former president:
Melania’s commitment to excellence starts with her family, which Barron and I cherish deeply. In her new book, Melania provides an insightful perspective of her tenure as First Lady of the United States, highlighting our shared experiences, her entrepreneurial achievements, plus the challenges and triumphs she experienced since her childhood in Europe.
While I don’t personally care about this plug, judging from the popularity of the Trump-endorsed Lee Greenwood Bible among certain Republican officials, it probably matters to the memoir’s target audience.
Low: Donald J. Trump probably didn’t read it.
At a September 19 rally, Donald Trump said he hadn’t read his wife’s forthcoming memoir because he’s “so busy.” Considering this admission and the way the cover blurb sounds nothing like Trump, it seems safe to say he did not write the endorsement.
